The Zoo

I'm jumping from academics and some of the occasional emotional eruptions that occur in a classroom to the bizarre, if not completely insane, thought process of board members and/or finance committee members.  Recently, said board members and/or finance committee members made the decision to make some salary adjustments for their teachers.  From what I know, the decisions were made for two reasons.  First, to make it easier to attract new teachers to the school.  Second, to raise the salary of the new teachers in order to retain them.  The decision making process was as follows.  Raise the salary of new teachers up to a certain dollar amount to retain them.  With this accomplished, these teachers would be making a salary comparable to the dollar amount unions are trying to get for fast food workers.  In fact, if the fast food worker works full time and the union gets them organized enough to get the desired wage, this hamburger flipper will make more that a new teacher.  Now that said board members and/or finance committee members spent money to attract and retain teachers they have to figure out a way to pay for these salary increases.  The solution they came up to was to lower the maximum salary cap for the teachers that have committed their entire career to teaching in their schools.  With these decisions made, questions are being asked by the teachers.  "You just raised the beginning salary for a teacher so are you going to increase my salary because I've been at this school for two, three, and even four years and new teachers are making the same salary as I am?"  The response to this question, NO!  "I'm just under the new salary cap, so you're telling me that if a I get a salary increase it will be my last one as I'm at the new lowered salary cap?"  The response to this question, YES!  Here is the logic, if logic is even the correct word, from these board members and/or finance committee members.  You should consider what you do as not so much a job but a mission and in your contribution to this mission you need to make some sacrifices.  I'm sorry, but I don't like this "logic" and I've come up with a better word, "bullshit."  Here is why I've chosen this word.  There are executives and/or leaders of these schools that live on palatial estates for free.  The palatial estate comes with free lawn care and landscaping.  The landscaping comes with fully furnished outdoor patios with barbeque grills built in brick plus built-in artificial water falls.  There is enough poured concrete in the driveway of this palatial estate that you could land a Cobra gunship and still have room for cars.  So you know, these board members and/or finance committee members are not part of the public school system.  They are part of the private school system and it is my belief that these private school systems just started in a downward spiral that will lead to their demise. 

Off to the zoo.  Of all the field trips that our scholars go on, this is easily my favorite because I like going to the zoo.  I've lost track of the number of times I visited the zoo with BigE and hopefully I'll lose track of the number of times that I go to the zoo with LittleE.  About a week before the field trip Gnu sent home the permission slips for all of the scholars.  For the first time, ShortTime will be able to go on a field trip and that is a good thing because his parental unit has been bugging Gnu to let him go on this field trip.  One by one the permission slips are signed and returned.  With only one day left before the field trips we are missing one signed permission slip, ShortTime's.  Gnu reminds him again the he can go but he will need his parental unit to sign the permission slip and to pick him up when we return to school as his bus that takes him home will not be available.  It's the morning of the field trip.  All scholars are in attendance but one, ShortTime.  Apparently, despite nearly bugging Gnu to death to let her scholar attend this field trip, the parental unit just couldn't get up the energy to pick her scholar up upon our return to school.  So, not only did ShortTime not get to go to the zoo, his parental unit didn't even send him to school.

On the day of the field trip to the zoo, the weather was a little iffy.  We'll depart for the zoo at 9:30am and will be back at school at 1:30pm.  The weather forecast states thunderstorms rolling through at 1:00pm so we should get to see most of the animals at the zoo.  The bus ride to the zoo was uneventful and so was getting through the admission gates.  Now standing inside the zoo the scholars decided they wanted to enter the Waters Exhibit and off they went.  As they started walking in the direction of the Waters Exhibit I realized that I made a mistake by letting them chose what to do first.  The scholars chose the counter clockwise direction through the zoo which meant the first three exhibits we would see would be indoors.  With rain approaching we should have taken the clockwise route so when the rain hit, we'd be inside. 

We survived the Waters Exhibit without incident and were heading to the Orangutan Exhibit when Gnu's cell phone rang.  Gnu answered the phone and looked over to me and silently said it was EM's parental unit.  EM's parental unit was supposed to join us on the field trip as she is a registered volunteer but she just couldn't get to school on time to join us on the bus.  I suspect the reason she couldn't get to school was that her driver's license was suspended.  As I listen to Gnu on her cell phone I realize that EM's parental unit was at the zoo and wanted to join us.  Gnu looks at me and says, "she's at the front gate, can you go and get her?"  "Sure," I responded and I head to the front gate.  When I arrive, there is a light crowd so I'm thinking it will be easy to find her.  As I begin my search, I looked in all directions and don't see her so I call Gnu on her cell phone.  "I'm at the front gate, there are very few people around and I don't see her."  "Ok, let me call her back so I can see where she is and I'll get right back to you," Gnu states.  A minute later my cell phone rings and it's Gnu.  "She is at the front gate where you pay to park."  I respond to Gnu, "Do you know where that is?  That's a long walk."  I know, she doesn't have any money to pay to get into the parking lot," Gnu informs me.  Gnu continues, "do you want me to tell her that she can't join us?"  Slightly irritated that a parental unit would arrive at the zoo without any money I respond, "no, let me try and figure this out and I'll get back to you."  I then walk over to the window where you purchase your ticket to enter the zoo and ask to speak to the manager.  I inform the manager of my situation, state to her that I'll pay the $6.00 to get her through the gate but I don't know how to accomplish that.  The manager pulls our her walkie-talkie, speaks to the front gate personnel, and they let her through.  I finally see EM's parental unit in the parking lot walking toward me with EM's littlest brother in a baby stroller and one of his older brothers, who I believe is in the 6th grade, walking toward me.  When they reach me I let the manager know that this is who I was waiting for and start walking to the ticket window to pay for parking and two admission tickets which will cost me about $35.00.  The manager looks at me and says, "follow me."  We do and she takes us to the exit, pulls out a stamp, stamps everyone's hand and we are heading in for free.  I thank the manager, direct EM's parental unit to wait for me on a bench just inside the zoo and head over to the ticket office to pay the $6.00 I owe for parking.  When we are finally inside the zoo, I pull out my cell phone and call Gnu to get her location.  As soon as she answers the phone she says, "did you find her?"  I respond back, "not her, them," and get her location and we are moving toward the rest of the scholars.

Despite a parental unit that missed the school bus in the morning.  Despite a parental unit that chose to drive to the zoo with a suspended driver's license.  Despite a parental unit arriving at the zoo with no money.  Despite a parental unit that Gnu and I thought would be by herself and not with two of her siblings, one of which should have been in school, the day worked out real well until the storm hit.  Fortunately, we were under a shelter when the storm hit.  There was thunder and lightning directly overhead and it was raining pretty hard.  Off in the distance we could see our bus approaching and Gnu informed the scholars that it was time to head back to school.  S&T states, "I'm not going back to school," and runs out into the storm.  With lightning coming down directly in the area of the zoo, with thunder rumbling overhead, with it pouring rain, I look at Gnu and say, "what do you want me to do?"  She looks over at S&T and then says to me, "he stopped in a pretty safe place, let him stand there by himself."  "No problem," I respond "but if he chooses to run rather than get on the bus, I'll chase him down."  Fortunately, being very wet and cold, our fine young scholar stepped onto the bus.  When S&T was in his seat and the bus was rolling back to school, Gnu looked over at me and said, "as long as he is in our classroom, he will never go on another field trip." 

Despite all the craziness going on, the scholars enjoyed the zoo.  Like our school field trip, where they were laughing hysterically as they rolled down a hill, they had fun and laughed a lot which is exactly what any young scholar should being doing while at the zoo.

Thanks again for following along.  The end of the school year is rapidly approaching so I'll have to make that decision pretty soon.  Actually, I've already made the decision.  I'm just not going to tell you right now.