"Schultz I have an appointment and will not arrive at school until around noon." "There will not be a substitute teacher so you will have to move to the front of the room." "Who will occupy the back of the room as we are required to have two adults in the room?" "Oreo, and I'll leave the lesson plan and work sheets on your desk."
I've been in the front of the room a number of times over the last three years but for some reason I'm nervous about moving up front this time. I'm not really sure why so I decided to get to school a little earlier than normal to prepare. As I unlock the door I see right a way the lesson plans sitting on my desk with Post It notes stuck on them. I'm feeling a little more relaxed so I do my normal morning routine which is to feed our two gold fish and take the chairs off of the scholars desk and put them on the floor. I then sit at my desk and take the lid off of my BP gas station coffee (by the way I prefer the Kona blend) and look at the lesson plans. On the top of the pile it says Onomatopoeia. I hate that word. It's like entrepreneur, it doesn't role off my tongue properly, so I set this worksheet aside and see what's next. Hyperbole? Yikes! By the way, yikes is an onomatopoeia. Ok, where is the dictionary as I need to look up hyper-bowl. I find the scholars version of Webster and find hi-per-bowl-e. Ohhh! Hyperbole, noun, obvious and intentional exaggeration.
It's now 9:50am and the scholars are arriving and immediately I hear from each scholar, "Mr. Schultz, why are you sitting at Miss Gnu's desk?" "Have a seat, eat your breakfast and then I'll tell you when everyone gets here." I catch a break as NoFouls and Wide are absent. I then tell the scholars Miss Gnu has an appointment and will arrive later. I then inform them that Ms. Oreo will be in the room and will sit at my desk and you can get help from her if you need it.
Before I proceed I need to remind everyone that we have scholars that range from the first through fourth grade in our classroom. They have an assortment of issues ranging from anger control to anxiety issues to attention deficit hyperactivity disorder to autism. What they don't have is an inability to learn.
Ok, time to get the day started. On the whiteboard I write in big letters onomatopoeia. "What's that word Mr. Schultz?" It's pronounced ona-mata-pee-a and we'll practice saying it. We made it through the first two syllables when things took a turn for the worse. MiniJ started yelling "pee". "Mr. Schultz said pee." He goes from sitting to standing and is doing his little I'm hyped up dance and is laughing because I said pee. We are now in delay as we have to get everyone settled down and back on task. Finally, we are back on task and I tell the scholars that the definition of onomatopoeia is a noisy word. Then I ask for a volunteer to try and come up with a noisy word. MiniJ volunteers and shouts loudly "mud." I politely thank MiniJ for his effort and say mud is not a noisy word. I ask for another volunteer and no hands go up so I say I'll give you an onomatopoeia so listen carefully. Bang! I again ask for volunteers and hands go up and I get the following, Boo, Baa, Pow, and Boom. Great, I believe they have the idea. I read each onomatopoeia to them again and as I did I realized we had a lot of "b" words. So I wrote the "b" words in a sentence with a couple articles and a conjunction added and then asked them what kind of sentence I wrote. Uh-Uh-Uh's hand goes up, "that's an alliteration Mr. Schultz." That's correct and I'm heading toward her for some high fives and assign the class a five minute brain break.
Back to work and we move on to hyperbole. I remind the scholars that hyperbole means exaggeration and ask for an example. I get no takers so I give them one. "Mr. Schultz is as old as dirt." I'm getting blank looks so I tell them I'm sixty five years old so am I as old as dirt?" "No Mr. Schultz you are not as old as dirt because dirt has been around forever." That's right, I exaggerated didn't I." Now who wants to try and give me a hyperbole. Uh-Uh-Uh's hand goes up. "My pencil is so long it can reach to the top of Mount Olympus." I'm stunned and can only think I wish Gnu could have been in the room to hear this. Uh-Uh-Uh is in the second grade and has an oppositional defiant disorder combined with an anger issue and can be downright stubborn and she just game me a hyperbole with wording that came from our lesson on Greek mythology. Amazing, simply amazing!
Gnu return shortly after lunch and I moved to the back of the room. Oreo was in the room and stood next to me. "You know there is a program called Teach for America." "Stop!" "I know about Teach for America and the answer is no." "Well, you need to reconsider it because you missed your calling."
I have a couple brief updates and then I'm out of here. First, Gnu informed me via a text message that the case conference was held for River and he will be leaving us in a few days. I don't have the specifics but when I do I'll let you know what transpired. Next, we will begin the second round of ISTEP mandatory statewide testing in a couple days. The test process hasn't even started and it's off to a rough start. Prior to taking the actual test all of the scholars in the third through sixth grade had to take ISTEP practice tests on the laptop computers. The practice tests, depending on grade level, covered math, language arts and science. A lot of time and effort was put in by our inclusion teachers and Title One teachers to get through this practice test process. A lot of classroom academic time was lost moving the scholars to the testing room and back to the classroom. And what is the end result. It was a total waste of time as the school corporation has told the state that it's wants the pencil and paper copy of the test as we will not be using the computers. Why? Computer system failures. Not only at my school corporation but at other school corporations across the state. For the second year in a row the organization that provides the test has failed to keep it's servers operational. Apparently this organization fails to recognize that during ISTEP testing a hundred thousand or so scholars are going to log onto their servers at approximately the same time. And you know what happens, CRASH! Tens of millions of dollars of tax payers money is spent on this test and we get CRASH! By the way, that's an onomatopoeia.
Thanks for continuing to read my blog. POOF! I'm out.
Sunday, April 26, 2015
Wednesday, April 22, 2015
The Parental Units
Parental unit speaking, "I have a real busy day, how long is this going to take?"
Gnu speaking, "Well, if you're to busy to discuss your scholars education we can end this conference right now."
I'm pausing now to give her a standing ovation for shutting down that crap real quick. Have I mentioned that I'm working with a real good teacher? In the past I said a first year teacher. I'm not saying that any more. We are now in the fourth grading period and she is and will survive what I can easily say is the most challenging class that I've worked with in my three years observing from my view at the back of the room.
Parental unit speaking, "Why do you leave things like a cell phone lying around in the classroom?
Gnu speaking. "I can leave whatever I want lying around in the classroom because there is a very simple rule, you don't take things that don't belong to you." "If I should choose to I could leave my cellphone on a scholars desk without worrying about it being stolen because taking it is stealing."
Parent unit speaking, "Our scholar needs a lot of attention, can't you hold his hand when he is in school?"
Gnu speaking, "There are seven other scholars in this room." I don't have time to hold anyone's hand."
Parental unit speaking, "Our scholar has started a fire in a motel, to keep our scholar from leaving the house in the middle of the night we had to board up his bedroom windows, our scholar, with his brother, has pooped and then smeared his poop on the walls with his hands.
Parental unit speaking, "We'd like to make arrangements to transfer our scholar to a school he attended previously because we don't like your teaching methods."
This meeting to discuss this transfer will take place shortly.
He's only been in the classroom for about fifteen to seventeen days. Since his arrival I've recorded his behavior just like I do with the other scholars. There is so much more I could say about this scholar but I'm choosing not to. Why? It's disturbing, depressing and just plain sad. At the end of the last two school days, with the scholars gone for the day, Gnu has walked up to me and said, "what am I going to do with him?" Hopefully, when the overhead personnel gather in the next couple of days they can put a plan in place to get this scholar the professional help that he needs.
In the next couple of minutes I will hit the publish button for the ninety seventh time and for the first time I can say writing this post wasn't fun to do.
Gnu speaking, "Well, if you're to busy to discuss your scholars education we can end this conference right now."
I'm pausing now to give her a standing ovation for shutting down that crap real quick. Have I mentioned that I'm working with a real good teacher? In the past I said a first year teacher. I'm not saying that any more. We are now in the fourth grading period and she is and will survive what I can easily say is the most challenging class that I've worked with in my three years observing from my view at the back of the room.
Parental unit speaking, "Why do you leave things like a cell phone lying around in the classroom?
Gnu speaking. "I can leave whatever I want lying around in the classroom because there is a very simple rule, you don't take things that don't belong to you." "If I should choose to I could leave my cellphone on a scholars desk without worrying about it being stolen because taking it is stealing."
Parent unit speaking, "Our scholar needs a lot of attention, can't you hold his hand when he is in school?"
Gnu speaking, "There are seven other scholars in this room." I don't have time to hold anyone's hand."
Parental unit speaking, "Our scholar has started a fire in a motel, to keep our scholar from leaving the house in the middle of the night we had to board up his bedroom windows, our scholar, with his brother, has pooped and then smeared his poop on the walls with his hands.
Parental unit speaking, "We'd like to make arrangements to transfer our scholar to a school he attended previously because we don't like your teaching methods."
This meeting to discuss this transfer will take place shortly.
He's only been in the classroom for about fifteen to seventeen days. Since his arrival I've recorded his behavior just like I do with the other scholars. There is so much more I could say about this scholar but I'm choosing not to. Why? It's disturbing, depressing and just plain sad. At the end of the last two school days, with the scholars gone for the day, Gnu has walked up to me and said, "what am I going to do with him?" Hopefully, when the overhead personnel gather in the next couple of days they can put a plan in place to get this scholar the professional help that he needs.
In the next couple of minutes I will hit the publish button for the ninety seventh time and for the first time I can say writing this post wasn't fun to do.
Sunday, April 19, 2015
Cellphone Thefts, Fights and Defecation
We wrapped up Greek Mythology a few days ago. I'm still amazed that the scholars were totally into this subject. To wrap up the assignment Gnu assigned each scholar a god and had them write a paper on their assigned god. Although they all needed help gathering the information they work hard to complete the assignment. Every scholar had to come up with draft paper first. The draft was edited and then a final version was written. I was fun watching all of them try and rewrite their draft into a final version in the very best handwriting. As each scholar finished Gnu printed out a colored copy of their assigned god and then had a posting on the bulletin board ceremony in the hallway outside our classroom. Watching the smiles on the scholars faces when their assignment was posted is why I do what it do.
Alliteration - Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers. Got it? We spent a couple days on alliteration. It took the scholars quite of bit of time to catch on to what the word alliteration meant. Gnu would read one, she sells sea shells by the sea shore, and we'd get these blank looks. Finally, after doing three or four examples they started to catch on. The first assignment was for each scholar to write an alliteration using the first letter of their first name. Wide and NoFouls did a pretty decent job but the others really struggled and needed some help to got them written. While the scholars enjoyed it when Gnu or I would make them up their lack of a vocabulary took some of the fun out of it because they'd start to get either frustrated or angry because the couldn't write them. After two days we moved on but on the upside we were doing alliterations with first through fourth grade scholars and that has to be a good thing.
Remember, I don't make this stuff up. This series of events happened over three days and as it has in the past it makes me wonder what the hell goes on in these scholars homes or in the brain between their ears.
I'm in the car heading to the Baxter Y with my part time editor, part time consultant and full time spouse when my cellphone rings. I have a Bluetooth device in the car so I'm hands free and answer the phone. "Hello!" "Schultz this is Gnu, you didn't happen to see my cellphone anywhere in the classroom before you left." "No." "I can't find it so I'm wondering if one of our scholars stole it." Note, it is entirely possible as a couple of these fine young scholars have been caught stealing in the past. "Well, if I was to guess who took it I'd start with The Collector and then River or possibly MiniJ." Gnu, responds that she doesn't think it's The Collector so our focus in the morning will be River. When I walk into the classroom the next morning it was easy to see that Gnu was still pretty upset. "I've only had that cellphone for two weeks and now I have to spend a couple hundred dollars to replace it". "It just makes me so angry that one of my scholars would take my cellphone." I suggested that she head to the bus drop off point, get on River's bus before he gets off and ask the bus monitor it she saw River using a cellphone either yesterday evening or this morning. She likes that idea and off she goes. About five minutes later she walks into the classroom. In her right hand is her cellphone and there is a big smile on her face. "You got your phone back." "Yes, and you'll not believe what happened." When I stepped onto the bus MiniJ saw me and yelled "Miss Gnu I have your cellphone" and then he walked up to me and hand it to me. MiniJ speaking, "I saw River using it on the bus yesterday and took it from him because I knew it was yours." I'm sitting at my desk thinking did what happen really just happen. A few minutes later River walks into the classroom and I'm on full alter because Gnu is about to confront him and she is upset. "You stole my cellphone." "Why did you steal my cellphone?" "Because I want one and my parents won't buy me one." "You just don't steal someone else's cellphone just because you want one." "Yes I can." "I don't have a cellphone and I want a cellphone." Just so everyone knows, MiniJ was recognized in the classroom for doing the right thing. He was also recognized by the Big Boss for doing the right thing. As for River, nothing happened to him because he had been suspended so many other times he can't be suspended again. Yes, I know that's a pretty sad commentary as he stole a cellphone without any repercussions.
The next morning EM is the first to arrive. "Mr. Schultz, there was a big fight on the bus." " Let me guess EM, NoFouls was involved." "Yes Mr. Schultz and so was NoFouls brother. "Was there anyone else?" "Yes, AromA and some other kids that I didn't know." Note, AromA is a former scholar in my classroom who is now in the sixth grade. EM still speaking. "AromA was just trying to stop the fight but NoFouls brother starting punching him." "Then NoFouls stood up on the bus seat and jumped on AromA's back from behind and started choking him." Ok, here they come. NoFouls suspended, his brother suspended, and AromA suspended.
The following day the scholars are arriving. So far no bus incidents. With just about everyone in the room but NoFouls, Oreo walks in and heads toward River. I'm finishing up my meal count and attendance report so I'm not sure what happened except that Oreo left the room very quickly. A couple minutes later Gnu walks into the room and from the doorway she yells at River, "you stole the bus monitor's cellphone." "That is my cellphone, I found it." "You didn't find that cellphone you stole it from the bus monitor who had it on her seat on the bus." "Why did you take the bus monitor's cellphone?" "Because I want a cellphone and my parents won't get me one." That's twice and still no repercussions for stealing.
We finally get to Friday and I'm thinking this was a crazy week and it's not over. NoFouls was the first to arrive and I could tell by the look on his face there was another bus incident. Apparently he got loud and aggressive with a girl on his bus but there was no follow up from the bus monitor or bus driver so there was no further discussion. River arrived next and was introduced to a chair in a corner rather than his normal spot at his desk near Gnu's desk. With a concern about his stealing of not only cellphones but other objects in the classroom he lost his desk privilege for the day and is sitting near me. The morning was uneventful but it got interesting after recess. When everyone was back in the room from running around on a very nice day there was an odor. No, not sweat from running around at recess but the aroma of someone pooping. It wasn't long when the scholars starting telling Gnu that River stinks. Sure enough, he pooped his pants. If you recall, Gnu doesn't do well with this type of odor so she confronts him about it. "Why didn't you tell us you had to go to the bathroom?" "I didn't have to go to the bathroom." "What are you talking about, you pooped your pants." I didn't do that it school, I did it before I got on the bus this morning." Just so you know, social workers are now involved with this seriously troubled scholar.
I'm out. It's the weekend and I'm heading to a speak easy type bar that just opened in Old Town Greenwood. Let's see, an Old Fashioned, a Manhattan or a Gimlet. After a week like this maybe all three which will definitely get the attention from those as far west as Utah.
Alliteration - Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers. Got it? We spent a couple days on alliteration. It took the scholars quite of bit of time to catch on to what the word alliteration meant. Gnu would read one, she sells sea shells by the sea shore, and we'd get these blank looks. Finally, after doing three or four examples they started to catch on. The first assignment was for each scholar to write an alliteration using the first letter of their first name. Wide and NoFouls did a pretty decent job but the others really struggled and needed some help to got them written. While the scholars enjoyed it when Gnu or I would make them up their lack of a vocabulary took some of the fun out of it because they'd start to get either frustrated or angry because the couldn't write them. After two days we moved on but on the upside we were doing alliterations with first through fourth grade scholars and that has to be a good thing.
Remember, I don't make this stuff up. This series of events happened over three days and as it has in the past it makes me wonder what the hell goes on in these scholars homes or in the brain between their ears.
I'm in the car heading to the Baxter Y with my part time editor, part time consultant and full time spouse when my cellphone rings. I have a Bluetooth device in the car so I'm hands free and answer the phone. "Hello!" "Schultz this is Gnu, you didn't happen to see my cellphone anywhere in the classroom before you left." "No." "I can't find it so I'm wondering if one of our scholars stole it." Note, it is entirely possible as a couple of these fine young scholars have been caught stealing in the past. "Well, if I was to guess who took it I'd start with The Collector and then River or possibly MiniJ." Gnu, responds that she doesn't think it's The Collector so our focus in the morning will be River. When I walk into the classroom the next morning it was easy to see that Gnu was still pretty upset. "I've only had that cellphone for two weeks and now I have to spend a couple hundred dollars to replace it". "It just makes me so angry that one of my scholars would take my cellphone." I suggested that she head to the bus drop off point, get on River's bus before he gets off and ask the bus monitor it she saw River using a cellphone either yesterday evening or this morning. She likes that idea and off she goes. About five minutes later she walks into the classroom. In her right hand is her cellphone and there is a big smile on her face. "You got your phone back." "Yes, and you'll not believe what happened." When I stepped onto the bus MiniJ saw me and yelled "Miss Gnu I have your cellphone" and then he walked up to me and hand it to me. MiniJ speaking, "I saw River using it on the bus yesterday and took it from him because I knew it was yours." I'm sitting at my desk thinking did what happen really just happen. A few minutes later River walks into the classroom and I'm on full alter because Gnu is about to confront him and she is upset. "You stole my cellphone." "Why did you steal my cellphone?" "Because I want one and my parents won't buy me one." "You just don't steal someone else's cellphone just because you want one." "Yes I can." "I don't have a cellphone and I want a cellphone." Just so everyone knows, MiniJ was recognized in the classroom for doing the right thing. He was also recognized by the Big Boss for doing the right thing. As for River, nothing happened to him because he had been suspended so many other times he can't be suspended again. Yes, I know that's a pretty sad commentary as he stole a cellphone without any repercussions.
The next morning EM is the first to arrive. "Mr. Schultz, there was a big fight on the bus." " Let me guess EM, NoFouls was involved." "Yes Mr. Schultz and so was NoFouls brother. "Was there anyone else?" "Yes, AromA and some other kids that I didn't know." Note, AromA is a former scholar in my classroom who is now in the sixth grade. EM still speaking. "AromA was just trying to stop the fight but NoFouls brother starting punching him." "Then NoFouls stood up on the bus seat and jumped on AromA's back from behind and started choking him." Ok, here they come. NoFouls suspended, his brother suspended, and AromA suspended.
The following day the scholars are arriving. So far no bus incidents. With just about everyone in the room but NoFouls, Oreo walks in and heads toward River. I'm finishing up my meal count and attendance report so I'm not sure what happened except that Oreo left the room very quickly. A couple minutes later Gnu walks into the room and from the doorway she yells at River, "you stole the bus monitor's cellphone." "That is my cellphone, I found it." "You didn't find that cellphone you stole it from the bus monitor who had it on her seat on the bus." "Why did you take the bus monitor's cellphone?" "Because I want a cellphone and my parents won't get me one." That's twice and still no repercussions for stealing.
We finally get to Friday and I'm thinking this was a crazy week and it's not over. NoFouls was the first to arrive and I could tell by the look on his face there was another bus incident. Apparently he got loud and aggressive with a girl on his bus but there was no follow up from the bus monitor or bus driver so there was no further discussion. River arrived next and was introduced to a chair in a corner rather than his normal spot at his desk near Gnu's desk. With a concern about his stealing of not only cellphones but other objects in the classroom he lost his desk privilege for the day and is sitting near me. The morning was uneventful but it got interesting after recess. When everyone was back in the room from running around on a very nice day there was an odor. No, not sweat from running around at recess but the aroma of someone pooping. It wasn't long when the scholars starting telling Gnu that River stinks. Sure enough, he pooped his pants. If you recall, Gnu doesn't do well with this type of odor so she confronts him about it. "Why didn't you tell us you had to go to the bathroom?" "I didn't have to go to the bathroom." "What are you talking about, you pooped your pants." I didn't do that it school, I did it before I got on the bus this morning." Just so you know, social workers are now involved with this seriously troubled scholar.
I'm out. It's the weekend and I'm heading to a speak easy type bar that just opened in Old Town Greenwood. Let's see, an Old Fashioned, a Manhattan or a Gimlet. After a week like this maybe all three which will definitely get the attention from those as far west as Utah.
Sunday, April 12, 2015
One Gave Up and The Other Had Tears In His Eyes
I've been back in the classroom for a week now as spring break is over. Prior to spring break our third and fourth grade scholars completed the first round of mandatory statewide ISTEP testing. I'll address the testing process shortly but first I have to mention a text message I received on Easter Monday while sitting in the classroom enjoying my view from the back of the room. I carry a cellphone in my front left pocket but rarely use it. If it vibrates I'll take a quick look at it and if it is not school business I ignore the call. The cellphone rarely vibrates but when it does it's either Gnu or Oreo texting me about a classroom issue when I'm out of the classroom. So you know, if my cellphone vibrates and it's either Gnu or Oreo, it's usually bad news and I'm moving quickly back to the classroom. Well, on Easter Monday the cellphone started vibrating while I was in the classroom so I pulled it out of my pocket and saw that it was a text message from my part time editor, part time consultant and full time spouse so I take a look at the message. "I hope you don't kill me but I just made vacation reservations to go to Glacier National Park." "Oh, we'll be traveling round trip by train." For those of you that are not aware, Glacier National Park is approximately 1,600 miles from Indianapolis. Because I was in the classroom I just put the cellphone back in my pocket and went back to work. During my lunch break I finally realized what just happened and I'm thinking that is a pretty slick plan. Tell him we are going on a 3,200 mile train ride while he is in the classroom and can't say a word until he arrives home over four hours later. That should give him plenty of time to buy into the idea. That's slick, very slick.
We caught a bit of a break during the first round of ISTEP testing as our third and fourth grade scholars could take the test in the classroom. This came about because computers were not needed as test booklets were being used. With this home field advantage (in the classroom as opposed to a computer lab) Gnu and I felt this could give our scholars a bit of an edge. We just had to overcome two obstacles before the testing could start. Oreo solved our biggest obstacle and took both the second and third grade scholars to her office while the testing was taking place. Our second obstacle was overcome by using old newspapers and scotch tape. Prior to taking the ISTEP test anything that can even remotely look like something academics in the classroom had to be covered up. This even included the calendar that is on the wall and the letters of the alphabet that are hung above the whiteboard in the front of the classroom. Why are we doing this? Because politicians and pointy headed intellectuals think having items such as these visible in the classroom would allow a scholar to cheat and get a better score on the ISTEP test and we sure as hell can't have that happen.
Wide and The Collector, our fourth grade scholars, were first to take the ISTEP test. It was a language arts test that had a thirty minute time limit. Because of the challenges our scholars face in their lives they are give time and a half or an additional fifteen minutes to complete the test. I should also note that Gnu and I were not allowed in any way, shape or form to help the scholars. They had to do this on their own. The test involved reading a fairly short passage and then answer some questions. I was sitting by Wide and Gnu was with The Collector. Wide got off to a pretty good start and was writing a response to the first question. I could look over his shoulder and see that he was on the right track. The few times that I looked in the director of The Collector he was writing up a storm. I don't know if what he was writing had anything at all to do with the passage he just read be he was writing. Back to Wide and he is erasing everything he wrote. Why? He didn't like the way he wrote it. So you know, Wide has a bit of an OCD (obsessive compulsive disorder) and he probably erases more than all of the other scholars in our classroom combined. I'm good with neatness but keep in mind we are on the clock. Finally, he completes the first question and moves on to question number two. As he is reading he looks over at me and points to a word. "Mr. Schultz, I don't know what that word means." I glanced at his test booklet and see the word. "I'm sorry Wide but the rules state that I can't help you." "But Mr. Schultz, I don't know what that word means." Although there is time on the clock the test for Wide is over. He would not go any further until he figured out what that word meant. The Collector is finished and Gnu is observing. You could tell by the look on her faced she was stressed. She calmly mentions to Wide that he has to move on as time is running out. No deal, nothing moves until he figures out what that word means. A couple minutes before his time expired Wide walked up to Gnu and turned in his paper. After writing a pretty decent answer to the first question Wide will fail the test because he didn't answer the remaining questions. The second question read something like this. Write about what would changed in the story if the plot changed and read like this. The word that Wide did not recognize was plot. A stinking four letter word and I couldn't help him. A stinking four letter word that caused him to fail the test and in doing so has the potential to put Gnu's job in jeopardy. A stinking four letter word that politicians and pointy headed intellectuals think is so important that they'd rather see a scholar fail a test rather than give him the definition of the word.
This post is getting rather long but I'd like to talk a bit about EM our third grade scholar and how he did on the language arts portion of ISTEP. It will be brief because as you know he can't read. Gnu decided that I'd give the test to EM as I work with him a lot more that she does. When EM sat next to me I went over the instructions and then placed the booklet in front of him and pointed to where he was supposed to start reading. He looked up at me and said, "Mr. Schultz can you read it to me?" "I'm sorry EM but not this time." He then folded his arms and laid them on my desk. He then rested his forehead on his arms and started to cry. That was a very difficult moment for me and I worked real hard to keep my emotions under control. Like Wide, EM will fail this portion of ISTEP and again Gnu's teaching ability may be questioned.
Welcome to mandatory statewide testing in Indiana where if you can read or not you are going to take this test as there are no exceptions. Welcome to statewide testing in Indiana where if you don't know the definition of a word too bad. Welcome to an educational environment brought to us by politicians and pointy headed intellectuals.
That's it. I'm out. Thanks again for reading my blog.
We caught a bit of a break during the first round of ISTEP testing as our third and fourth grade scholars could take the test in the classroom. This came about because computers were not needed as test booklets were being used. With this home field advantage (in the classroom as opposed to a computer lab) Gnu and I felt this could give our scholars a bit of an edge. We just had to overcome two obstacles before the testing could start. Oreo solved our biggest obstacle and took both the second and third grade scholars to her office while the testing was taking place. Our second obstacle was overcome by using old newspapers and scotch tape. Prior to taking the ISTEP test anything that can even remotely look like something academics in the classroom had to be covered up. This even included the calendar that is on the wall and the letters of the alphabet that are hung above the whiteboard in the front of the classroom. Why are we doing this? Because politicians and pointy headed intellectuals think having items such as these visible in the classroom would allow a scholar to cheat and get a better score on the ISTEP test and we sure as hell can't have that happen.
Wide and The Collector, our fourth grade scholars, were first to take the ISTEP test. It was a language arts test that had a thirty minute time limit. Because of the challenges our scholars face in their lives they are give time and a half or an additional fifteen minutes to complete the test. I should also note that Gnu and I were not allowed in any way, shape or form to help the scholars. They had to do this on their own. The test involved reading a fairly short passage and then answer some questions. I was sitting by Wide and Gnu was with The Collector. Wide got off to a pretty good start and was writing a response to the first question. I could look over his shoulder and see that he was on the right track. The few times that I looked in the director of The Collector he was writing up a storm. I don't know if what he was writing had anything at all to do with the passage he just read be he was writing. Back to Wide and he is erasing everything he wrote. Why? He didn't like the way he wrote it. So you know, Wide has a bit of an OCD (obsessive compulsive disorder) and he probably erases more than all of the other scholars in our classroom combined. I'm good with neatness but keep in mind we are on the clock. Finally, he completes the first question and moves on to question number two. As he is reading he looks over at me and points to a word. "Mr. Schultz, I don't know what that word means." I glanced at his test booklet and see the word. "I'm sorry Wide but the rules state that I can't help you." "But Mr. Schultz, I don't know what that word means." Although there is time on the clock the test for Wide is over. He would not go any further until he figured out what that word meant. The Collector is finished and Gnu is observing. You could tell by the look on her faced she was stressed. She calmly mentions to Wide that he has to move on as time is running out. No deal, nothing moves until he figures out what that word means. A couple minutes before his time expired Wide walked up to Gnu and turned in his paper. After writing a pretty decent answer to the first question Wide will fail the test because he didn't answer the remaining questions. The second question read something like this. Write about what would changed in the story if the plot changed and read like this. The word that Wide did not recognize was plot. A stinking four letter word and I couldn't help him. A stinking four letter word that caused him to fail the test and in doing so has the potential to put Gnu's job in jeopardy. A stinking four letter word that politicians and pointy headed intellectuals think is so important that they'd rather see a scholar fail a test rather than give him the definition of the word.
This post is getting rather long but I'd like to talk a bit about EM our third grade scholar and how he did on the language arts portion of ISTEP. It will be brief because as you know he can't read. Gnu decided that I'd give the test to EM as I work with him a lot more that she does. When EM sat next to me I went over the instructions and then placed the booklet in front of him and pointed to where he was supposed to start reading. He looked up at me and said, "Mr. Schultz can you read it to me?" "I'm sorry EM but not this time." He then folded his arms and laid them on my desk. He then rested his forehead on his arms and started to cry. That was a very difficult moment for me and I worked real hard to keep my emotions under control. Like Wide, EM will fail this portion of ISTEP and again Gnu's teaching ability may be questioned.
Welcome to mandatory statewide testing in Indiana where if you can read or not you are going to take this test as there are no exceptions. Welcome to statewide testing in Indiana where if you don't know the definition of a word too bad. Welcome to an educational environment brought to us by politicians and pointy headed intellectuals.
That's it. I'm out. Thanks again for reading my blog.
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