Ladies It's A Dead Stick

In order to tell this story we need to go back in time to the beginning of the school year.  In order to do that I'm trying to track down Mr. Peabody and Sherman to see if their WABAC is still operable.  For pronunciation purposes the first "a" in WABAC is a long "a".  Still uncertain about the pronunciation I suggest you go down to your sub basement and retrieve your third grade grammar book.

For the youthful readers I'll clue you in.  It's the 1960's and Rocky and Bullwinkle had their own television show.  Rocky is a flying squirrel and Bullwinkle is a moose.  Making regular appearances on their show was Mr. Peabody and Sherman.  Mr. Peabody is a talking dog who is the smartest dog in the world.  Sherman is an orphaned infant that is adopted by Mr. Peabody.  I'll pass on explaining Boris and Natasha so as to not confuse the youthful readers.  The WABAC is a time machine that was invented by Mr. Peabody.  No it does not use a flux capacitor.  That is an invention of Dr. Brown's that came to fruition in 1955.  I'm stepping into the WABAC now and setting September 2013 as my destination.

Mr. Schultz would you have any tree pruners?  What?  We (the two sixth grade teachers) need a branch from a tree but we don't have any tree pruners.  I have tree pruners but the are home.  Good, will you cut us a branch from a tree and bring it to school?  What are you going to do with a tree branch?  We need it to make a poetry.  What?  We need it to make a poet tree to hang poems on. As a reminder the names in this blog are fictitious but the events including this one are fact.  Ok, I said and now I've committed myself to finding a poet tree.

Immediately I have a problem as the only trees in my yard are conifers and I need deciduous.  Dang now I have to ask my neighbor if I can cut a branch off one of his trees and I'm sure he's going to think I'm a nut case.  I've committed myself to the teachers so off I go.  Hey neighbor do you mind if I cut off a small branch from one of your trees I need it for a school project.  You don't need to cut one down I have several already cut down by my fence line.  Help yourself.   Great and I search through the pile for one the right size and carry it back into my yard and lean it up against my storage barn.  I start eyeballing it and realize it's way too tall.  The wife is observing and asks me what I doing and I tell her.  She says have a nice time I'm going in the house.  A car pulls in the driveway and I catch a huge break as my daughter has decided to pay a visit to the suburbs.  She has an excellent eye for detail and I ask her if she wants to help.  She agrees but states wouldn't it be easier for you if you just cut a branch off a tree on the school grounds.  I wanted to say something but chose to pass on it although several of you probably have a good idea on what I was thinking.

It's now a Monday morning and the nicely shaped tree branch is in the trunk of my car and I'm heading to school.  As I round the corner on the second floor of the school the two sixth grade teachers see me with the tree branch and I can't believe how excited they are.  Mr. Schultz that looks perfect.

Fast forward now to May.  The tree branch has been sitting in a large vase in the hallway for nine months and it is definitely dead.  I'll have to give credit to the two teachers as the tree branch was used on numerous occasions throughout the school year and it was fun to stop and see the scholars writings and other works of art work hanging on the branches.

I eat lunch with these two teachers daily and as I walk into the staff lounge I hear Mr. Schultz we need to talk to you about the tree branch.  I'm thinking here comes the coup de grace for the tree branch as I ask would you like me to remove it to the dumpster?  Heavens no we want you to find a place in the school to store it over the summer so we can use it next year.  Ladies it's a dead tree stick.  We know that but it has a real nice shape so we want you to find not only a place to store it but a way to preserve it so it doesn't disintegrate.  What?  Are you serious?  Yes we are.

So far I've done nothing as I think they are joking.  There are seven school days left so I guess I'll just wait and see what happens.