More Nonsense and I'm Getting Agitated

I haven't done listed the scholars and staff for a while but feel the need to do so as there have been a number of new readers recently.  To help them avoid confusion here are the key players.

Scholars                                                                        

EM - 4th grade                                                               
MiniJ - 3rd grade                                                       
Uh-Uh-Uh - 3 grade grade                                                                                        
Grr! - 2nd grade
The Collector - former scholar
Wide - former scholar
Straw - former scholar
Leftside - former scholar
Floss - former scholar
Prophet - not sure of his grade, temporary scholar

Staff

Gnu - Teacher
Me - Instructional Assistant
Knew2 - Teacher
Oreo - Behavior Support
Duck - Behavior Support
Big B - In charge of the place
Open (replacing IvyL) - Behavior Support

The iPads that were purchased several weeks ago, by some very generous people, are really getting a workout.  During our reading block we've been reading hard copy chapter books with great success.  This past week Gnu switched to reading iBooks and now the scholars have to go on-line to read.  Gnu downloaded the book, Bullfrog on Magnolia Circle, by Deborah Dennard and Illustrated by Kristin Kest, onto the iPads.  When Gnu introduced the new book to the scholars they asked her for their copy of the book and she replied "you don't get a book this time."  You could see immediately the scholars disappointment as they like to have their own copy of the book when we are reading.  Gnu went on to say that in order to read this book you have to get an iPad so let's go get them.  MiniJ speaking, "Mr. Schultz, Mr. Schultz, we are going to read a book on the iPad."  "Great!" I say.  "Remember to be careful when you get one from Gnu so you don't drop it."

Gnu and I are pretty certain that this is the first time any of the scholars read a book on-line so it was pretty interesting to watch them using the iPad.  As we were reading the book they discovered the zoom in feature and their excitement escalated when they could zoom in on a picture of a bullfrog and other objects in the story.  I should note at this point that the illustrations in this book were very impressive and even I enjoyed the zoom feature.  The other item they learned about was Siri although we are having second thoughts about showing them how to use this iPad feature.  The first search was for a bullfrog calling to a potential mate and next thing you know this is a chorus of bullfrog sounds coming from the iPads.  The second search was for the size of a bullfrog and how long was it's tongue. I wish I kept track of the times I heard, "Miss Gnu or Mr. Schultz, did you hear that or see this" from the scholars.  Despite the scholars enthusiasm with using the iPads for reading I also learned a little something myself as I walked around observing the scholars as one of the scholars, probably MiniJ, figured out how to post a background picture on the iPad.  When I held up the iPad with a picture of an NBA player as the background I immediately got a "that's Stephen Curry, Mr. Schultz," from MiniJ and as he spoke he went into his best air-basketball imitation of Stephen Curry stepping back and knocking down a three.  The picture of Stephen Curry was harmless but my radar detector went up to remind me to keep an eye on these enterprising young scholars to see what else they have been getting into on the iPad.

Real quick, speaking of basketball.  EM and his teammates are undefeated at 2-0.  He got to play an entire quarter in the last game and he informed me that the referee's didn't know what they were doing because he was called for traveling and he insisted that he wasn't traveling.  It sure didn't take this young scholar long to learn how to complain about the referees.

A little while ago Gnu received a directive on how to properly record our daily attendance.  The directive came from the our school corporation but was initiated by the state department of education.  So you can see the nonsense that comes from pointy headed intellectuals at the highest levels of education in this state I'll outline the attendance policy for you.  Before I get started, a little background information.  We have six buses arrive every day.  The scholars cannot get off the bus until 8:45am.  From their they go immediately into the breakfast line and join all the car riders and walkers that are in line.  All totaled 400+ so scholars get breakfast so it takes time to get them through the breakfast line.

This attendance policy will be followed or you risk getting your hand slapped!

1. If a scholar arrives in the classroom at 9:05am or later, this scholar is tardy and you must record the scholar as tardy on your on-line attendance record. 
2. If this scholar that is tardy does not have a tardy pass from the front office you must send this scholar to the front office to get a tardy pass.  With a tardy pass in hand, the scholar can now return to the classroom.  When the scholar hands you the tardy pass you can throw it away.
3. The person at the front office that issued the tardy pass can also now record the scholar as tardy on your on-line attendance record.  Please check your on-line attendance record to confirm that this action took place. 
4. You must turn in your on-line attendance record for the first time by 9:30am.
5. At the end of the school day, between 3:30pm and 4:00pm, you have to revisit your on-line attendance record and confirm that your on-line attendance record is accurate.  If a scholar is listed as tardy but arrived at school you can now change the scholar to present.  Once you have finalized your on-line attendance record for the day you are complete.
6. As a reminder, this is how you will fill our your on-line attendance record every day of the year.  If there is a pattern of non-compliance you will get you hand slapped.

Signed, Pointy Headed Intellectual, who occupies an overhead position in an office in the heart of Indianapolis, who makes thousands of dollars a year, and contributes absolutely nothing to the classroom.

To add to this nonsense, every day I record our attendance on a hard copy attendance record.  It gets picked up daily by a scholar from our life skills class and it eventually gets dropped off at our front office.  I've been keeping this hard copy attendance record for three and a half school years and I have no idea what the office personnel do with it.  All I know is when I arrive at school the next day this hard copy attendance record is in Gnu's mailbox.  I then pick it up, take it to the classroom and repeat the process for another day.

The school week that begins on November 30th is going to be interesting.  First, their is a case conference for Prophet that will decide this scholar's future at our school.  Second, there is the potential that we will get a new scholar from another school corporation.  We've been told that this scholar has a pretty high volatility level and his present school corporation was going to move him to home bound (the scholar does not attend school, school work is delivered to the house is how I believe it works) because of his volatility level.  However, because the parental unit for this scholar relocated into our school corporation, the home bound process is stopped, and he may attending our school and sitting in our classroom.  Third, we may be getting a new scholar that will transfer to our classroom from our school.  Twice recently, the school corporation police have visited our school due to this scholar's behavior.   Fourth, a scholar from our school is being evaluated to determine if this scholar belongs in a classroom for emotionally handicapped scholars.  I have mentioned this scholar previously, I referred to him as Tourette.  Finally, another scholar from our school is being evaluated to determine if this scholar belongs in a classroom for emotionally handicapped scholars.  I also know this scholar, a charming individual when not angry, but an obscenity machine when he is angry. 

A case conference that will hopefully remove a scholar from our classroom and the potential for four new scholars in our classroom and please be advised that if you fail to properly maintain your on-line attendance record you will get your hand slapped.  Do you think I'm getting agitated?  You better believe it.

That's it for now.  Off to buy some new workout shoes.  I'll keep you posted on this week's activities.  Thanks for continuing to read the musings of an old man that has a view from the back of a potentially really crowded classroom. 

"Yes!" "Well, I Think I Said Yes."

It's Monday morning of what will be a short week.  This coming Thursday is Thanksgiving and we have Wednesday off to prepare for the holiday.  The bottom line is that I'll be away from my view at  the back of the room for five consecutive days.  Can I have an AMEN?  All of the scholars have arrived and are sitting at the front table waiting for the day to start.  Although we haven't had one since IvyL departed several weeks ago, Gnu decided to hold a community circle to start the day.  Today's topic is what did you do on the weekend?  Gnu usually starts with the scholars which is always interesting as there are times where they just make stuff up.  It's a sad commentary and it reminds me of how little life experiences the scholars gain given the social economic status of their parental units.  Once the scholars finish their turn Gnu asks me about my weekend.  I informed her that my weekend was pretty uneventful as I was feeling a little under the weather.  When the scholars and I finished with our weekend activities Gnu responded, "well, I just had the best weekend of my entire life."

Gnu speaking.  "I got a call from my other job this weekend and the manager told me he didn't need me at work so I could stay home.  I didn't understand why this was happening but the manager just said "I over schedule people and you don't have to come in."  I started to get nervous as I need this second job so I asked the manager if a still had a job.  The manager responded, "yes," so I felt relieved.  When I informed my gentleman caller of this bit of news he responded by saying we should take advantage of this and go out for a nice meal.  I agreed and we made reservations at a restaurant called The Rathskeller.  While in route to the restaurant we ended up by Monument Circle and I told my gentleman caller that we are going the wrong way.  He responded that "we are going in the right direction."  I said we are not but we continued walking.  When we arrived at Monument Circle he knelt down on one knee and he asked me to marry him.  I was so excited that I started screaming and jumping up and down.  While I was doing this I noticed that flash cameras were going off.  My gentleman caller arranged to have a photographer available to take pictures of his proposal.  I then looked around and saw several of my family members and friends around us.  When I saw my mother I was so excited that she was there.  I asked my mother if my sister was there and she said "no, she was home packing to move to South Carolina."  That was a little disappointing as being with family at this time seemed a bit more important than packing.  After everything settle down we all headed to The Rathskeller for our dinner.  When we arrived, we had to walk up two floors to private dining room.  When I opened the door my sister, who was supposed to be home packing, and even more friends and family yelled surprised when I stepped into the room."

After telling us about her best weekend ever, Gnu showed off her "bling" to all the scholars.  They were real excited for her and so was I.  When all the excitement settled down and there was a quiet moment I walked over to her to congratulate her.  When we talked she told me this, "I was so excited that I'm not sure if I even said yes."

One last item on the big proposal, the gentleman caller had contacted Gnu's other employer and explained what he was going to do the so manager made the phone call to do his part in this surprise.

It's now Thursday morning and I'm waiting the arrival of my daughter and son-in-law to the suburbs for the holiday.  HAPPY THINKSGIVING everyone. 

Game Day

It's Monday and the day is over.  The scholars are on their way home.  I'm on my way to the Professional Development Center to be recertified on how to put my hands on scholars who have erupted and are at risk of hurting themselves or another scholar.  Gnu is still at school preparing for the next day and then she is heading to the big game.  It's approximately 5:00pm when my cell phone starts to vibrate.  It's Gnu and she just sent me a text message.  "The game hasn't even started yet and I'm already crying."  I respond, "is this good crying or bad crying?"  "I think this is like the best day of his life.  He looks so cute!  I'm taking 1000 pictures, I'll show you tomorrow" is the response I get.
"So it's good crying," I say, "and now you have me started."  Gnu replied, "Lol,  Yes!  Sorry!"  Wearing a green and white jersey with the number 33 on the back of it and representing our school in his first ever organized basketball game is EM.  The texting you just read took place while I was in a professional development classroom so a cardinal sin, texting when you should have been learning, was just committed.  I'm guilty and if caught I would have admitted my mistake to the instructor.  Luckily, I caught a break because nobody in the classroom saw me texting as I was a bit isolated from everyone else which also means nobody saw me wiping the tears from my eyes.  Some may say "what's the big deal, it's just a game," but this is a huge big deal because over the four years that I've been at this school, no scholar, that I'm aware of, from a special education classroom, has ever been on a sports team.  People have asked me, numerous times, why do I continue to remain in such a tough environment?  For the moments that you just read about is why I stay and will continue to stay.  I work at a great school with a great staff!  I love my job!  I love working with Gnu!  I love my view from the back of the room and then Monday ends and it's Tuesday morning.     

We just finished the Pledge of Allegiance and recited our school motto when I heard some commotion at our classroom door.  In walks Uh-Uh-Uh with her parental units and she has her mad look going big time to include her usual foot stomping as she walks.  I have a school letter for the parental units so I'm getting up to hand it to one of them.  The female parental unit follows Uh-Uh-Uh into the room trying to settle her down.  Uh-Uh-Uh turns and stomps back toward her parental and takes two swings at her plus two attempts to kick her.  I'm now heading toward the classroom door but I'm a bit uncertain as to what I should do.  I have two choices, either stand aside and let the parental units address the behavior or step between Uh-Uh-Uh and her parental units and take the necessary steps to reduce the tension.  Being uncertain, I look over at Gnu who is close by and make eye contact with her.  She nods her head and gives me a small hand signal to proceed.  I then step directly in front of the parental units, say good morning to them, and ask them to close the door as they leave as I'll take it from here.  They both step back, close the door, and walk away.  When I returned to my desk I thought to myself that I just took a risk intervening between an angry scholar and the parental unit as there have been incidents where the parental unit would have erupted and directed their anger at another adult who just told them, politely, to close the door and leave.  Tuesday got off to a rough start but we survived all the way to Thursday and then our next adventure began.   

A text message just poured in and again it's from Gnu.  "Scholar #2 gave his speech like a champ," the text message said.  What?  Initially I was totally lost.  What the heck is she talking about?  Then it sort of registered and I responded, "Who?  Grr!?"  "Yes!  He had to go up to the microphone and give a speech about his artwork," Gnu said.  Damn!  Another one of those teary eyed moments and this makes two in one week.  Back in the first quarter of the school year our scholars completed an Art assignment, to draw the skyline of a city.  The Art teacher displayed a few completed skylines from another class to our scholars and gave them the supplies to get started.  For the most part our scholars are pretty poor artists who spend a lot of time in Art class bugging me to help them.  This is not the case with Grr!  He likes to draw and immediately got started with the project.  When he finished he brought his project over to me so I could look at it.  "How does it look Mr. Schultz?" Grr! said.  "Great!" I say, "but you forgot one thing.  Put your name on the paper so you get credit for all of this work, and then turn it in."   I'm not sure who the judges were for this Art competition but they selected Grr!'s skyline and he was invited to the recognition program that was held in our school after hours.  Gnu attended the recognition program and informed me that there were several scholars being recognized for both their drawing abilities and for their poetry writing abilities.  In addition to the scholars in attendance, there were a lot of parents as well as representatives of our school in attendance.  As each scholar was recognized for their work, they were placed in front of a microphone so they could explain their project to all in attendance.  As you read in the first sentence, "Scholar #2 gave his speech like a champ."  So you know, this Scholar #2 has a pretty series anger control issue, dyslexia, and some pretty series anxiety issues, so for him to step up to a microphone in front of a fairly good sized audience and speak is amazing and I couldn't be prouder of him.  Again, people have asked me a number of time why I do what I do.  I believe you're starting to catch on.

Back to the morning of game day.  The busses arrive and EM and his little sister step off.  Both of them head into the school to get their breakfast.  As EM is nearing the cafeteria our PE teacher/basketball coach sees him, walks over to him and hands him his basketball uniform.  With his breakfast and basketball uniform in hand, he heads to the classroom.  When he arrives he is the talk of the room as the other scholars see his basketball uniform.  After a few minutes EM asks Gnu if he can put on his basketball uniform over his school uniform.  Gnu hesitates a little while and then says to him, "you can put your uniform on but before you do remember that once you put it on you become a school leader in our school and you have to act as a role model for all of the other scholars."  The uniform is on in an instant and the smile on his face is priceless.  When he walks over to me to show me his uniform I ask him if he knows what famous basketball player from Indiana wore number 33.  He responds, "no!".  So I say to him, "Larry Bird wore number 33 for the Boston Celtics and like yours, the uniform was green and white."  I'm sorry to tell all of you Hoosiers that EM has never heard of Larry Bird.  Obviously I have my work cut out for me when it basketball in this state.

It's cold outside.  It rained and then snowed on Saturday so I'm going to do the best thing possible during such lousy weather.  I'm going to take a nap.  Have a good weekend.  Bye! 

Je me tiens avec la France

This will be my one hundred and twenty eight blog post with page views slowly approaching six thousand.  By far the most page views come from people here the United States but the second most page views have been from France.  While I have no idea who or why someone from France would follow my blog I do appreciate the fact that she or he has been following for a long time. It is with this in mind that I titled this blog post, in French, and hopefully this is the correct translation with everything spelled correctly, the following, "I Stand With France" during this tragic time.  To my French follower(s) I offer my prayers during this most difficult time and ask that all world leaders unite and destroy, once and for all, the evil that could do this.  Vive la France!

Although you can't tell, I'm struggling getting this blog started.  After all what can one say following my opening paragraph about the barbaric act that took place in Paris.  I have my notes right in front of me, in a somewhat orderly fashion, but I just can't think of how to transition to a discussion about my view from the back of the room.  My part time editor, part time consultant and full time spouse just walked by so I asked her for an opinion.  She looked at me for a second or two and then said, "you said what you wanted to say to your French reader(s) so just go with what you planned to write about."  As usual, as she has for thirty seven years, she pointed me in the right direction.

Behaviorally, this had to be the most uneventful and quiet week that I think I've ever had over the past three and a half school years.  If there was one standout highlight I guess it would be this one.  On Tuesday, Uh-Uh-Uh arrived in the classroom in a bit of an angry mood.  She had her angry look going as she entered the room, arms folded across her chest, angry facial expression, and walking with a slight foot stomp to her desk.  She then sits down, arms still folded across her chest looking mad and occasionally kicking the leg of her desk.  Grr! and EM are in the room and they do the right thing, ignore her, and stick to their business.  For some reason EM chose not to eat the breakfast he picked up in the cafeteria so he placed it on my desk.  Knowing that Uh-Uh-Uh arrived late and was not carrying a breakfast when she arrived I picked up EM's breakfast and walked over to her desk and asked her is she wanted something to eat.  Initially I just got a "NO!" but that changed to a yes before I could get back to my desk.  She started by opening the white milk and then proceeded to the six waffles that were wrapped in plastic to keep them warm.  For clarification the waffles are round, about this size of a silver dollar and maybe one quarter of an inch thick, and not the full size that you would get at a real cafeteria.  After Uh-Uh-Uh consumed half of the first waffle she announces to no one in particular, "how can something that looks so good taste so bad?"  That got a reaction from everybody in the room and it also got Uh-Uh-Uh distracted long enough that she forgot she was angry and Gnu began our academic lesson.

"Schultz, where do we keep the masking tape?" Gnu says to me.  I retrieve the masking tape from the same location it was in the last time she asked me for it and hand it to her.  She then tells the scholars to use the masking tape to mark out a square on the floor that has sides that are four feet long.  When the scholars finished placing the tape on the floor she tells all four of them to sit on the floor inside the square that they just made.  A couple scholars have parts of their anatomy outside the square so Gnu nudges them over a little and tells them that at no time can any part of their body either be outside the tape or even touching the tape.  Within everyone properly position in their own spacious four square feet of floor space she begins the lesson.  "You are passengers on a ship called the Mayflower and you are heading to America.  There are ninety eight other passengers on this ship so it is important that you remain in your assigned seating area for the entire journey from England, across the Atlantic Ocean, and eventually to Plymouth Rock in America.  This journey will take sixty six days so try and get as comfortable as you can as it's a long journey."  Gnu continues, "I know that you may be a little concerned about this long journey but you can be at ease because your daily meal is about to be served."  Gnu walks over to her desk and picks up a bag that contains today's meal and starts to pass out the food.  As she does so, she reminds them that this is all you get to eat today so don't waste any food and don't start eating until I give you all of your food.  The first item on the menu was a saltine cracker.  This was followed by some cheese, in this case Colby, and then finally the dried meat which I picked up on my way to school from the BP gas station.  The dried meat was Beef Jerky in it's original flavor in case you were wondering.  With each scholar in possession of their daily food allowance she again reminded them that this is all you get to eat for the day and that they can now eat their meal.  

The book is titled "Thanksgiving On Thursday" and it is a chapter book from the Magic Tree House series by Mary Pope Osborne.  Gnu had to update her lessons plans plus update the scholars individual education plans (IEP's) prior to case conferences with the parental units so I got to do the bulk of the reading during the week.  As we worked through each chapter there was a multiple choice test to take at the end of the chapter.  There were only five or six questions per chapter and as we worked through the questions I was and continued to be amazed how much our scholars remember.  While I'm amazed at their recall abilities I'm equally frustrated with them when they are required to take a state or school corporation mandated reading test as they always do so poorly.  When the scholars finished the final chapter Gnu informed them that they now had to do an art project about the story.  As anticipated, that didn't set well with them for one reason, they are not very good artists.   Despite the groans and whining Gnu told them about the project.  "You will now recreate the pilgrim village at Plymouth Rock.  You can do so by creating a setting that the pilgrims lived in or a setting that the Native Americans lived in.  I have all the material you will need to include shoe boxes, different colored cloth so you can create roads, grass, and water.  I also have different colored construction paper that you can use to create your background and various paint colors that you can use to paint your houses, fences and other objects that you wish to place in your setting."  Gnu had barely finished her last comments about this project when the scholars quickly moved to the front table to get started.  As I have been so many times before, I'm amazed at Gnu's ability to keep them engaged in an academic lesson.  She pushes and pushes academics all day long.  There are occasional brain breaks but they are short as she just keeps moving forward.  And just when you think the scholars are reaching their breaking point she changes directions and gets them reengaged in academics with these wonderful projects.

The lowest life form, the politician, and the pointy headed intellectuals that feed into their heads the verbiage that comes our of their mouths, have reared their ugly heads and it's going to get interesting between now and the end of the year.  The Indiana Stupid Testing and Evaluation Process (ISTEP) preliminary results are coming out and it's not good.  A first look at the scores indicate that our schools reading and math scores dropped by thirty percentage points.  During a conversation with a teacher from another school corporation I was told by this teacher that approximately twenty scholars in her school, who have NEVER failed an ISTEP test, failed one or both parts of the test this year.  Elections are on the horizon and principals, teachers, and parental units are about to see ISTEP scores so it's going to get real interesting here in Indiana as the lowest life form and the pointy headed intellectuals try and weasel they way out of this disaster they created.  I'll keep you updated as we move forward.

That's enough.  We need to unite as one and support our friends from across the pond.  Vive la France!  

     



   

She Was Punched and He Made the Team

Fall break ended three weeks ago and I've been in a funk since returning to the classroom.  I've kept it to myself as best as I could so as not to discourage Gnu but on Thursday of this past week I spoke up.  The school day was over and as usual Gnu and I were in the classroom alone after returning from bus duty.  There is usually not a lot of conversation at the end of the school day as we are both drained from seven hours in a classroom. The normal end of day routine was going on.  Gnu was placing her "stuff" into piles on her front table that eventually get transferred to the piles of "stuff" that are on her desk.  I'm putting the room back in order prior to the custodians arriving to do their daily sort of cleaning.  With all the chairs up on top of the desks I sat down at my desk with the view from the back of the room and said to her, "I'm frustrated."  She looks up at me and said, "why?"  "I sit back here everyday watching how hard you work, I watch the effort you put in to give our scholars the best education possible and right now I'm frustrated that these scholars can't grasp some of the simplest concepts," I said.  "You're right.  Something has changed as they've lost their focus and maybe I'm not doing a good enough job," she said.  When Gnu said what she said I knew immediately that I made a mistake.  My response to her was quick, "don't get down on yourself as you are doing a great job in a very difficult environment."  One of my classroom goals this year, that I shared with the Big B at the start of the school year, was to do everything I could to be sure Gnu was successful.  I slipped up on a Thursday and put doubts into her head and that is not why I'm in the classroom.  Going forth, I think I'll vent some of my frustrations with a different teacher, one that always finds the right words to say to keep me on track, my part time editor, part time consultant, and full time spouse.

So what caused my frustration besides the scholars loosing their way academically.  I'll tell you a few.

1. An announcement was made that a crisis team was needed in a general education classroom.  Two of my crisis team colleagues arrived before I did.  When I tried to enter the classroom the door was locked.  A non-crisis team member that was in the room saw me and unlocked the door.  When I walked in the scholars in this classroom had vacated the room to their safe place.  My two colleagues were trying to restrain a scholar who was in a real rage.  Prior to my arrival, he trashed the classroom to include causing two hundred dollars worth of damage to text books, hit his teacher and was strong enough to keep two adults from controlling him.  Now that I'm in the room the two adults trying to contain this scholar say they are loosing control and ask me to take a hold of him so they can recover.  I do and this scholar immediately tries to avoid my hold by raising up his legs and feet thinking I won't be able to hold him.  Nice try but young scholar that will not work.  I'm eventually asked to move the scholar out of the center of the room and towards a wall to better contain him.  When I get him there his first reaction is to try and bite me.  That didn't work so he decides to bang his head against the wall.  I reposition my body to contain him and then place my hand on the wall where his head is hitting it.  Now it is a matter of trying to deescalate him.  Another twenty or so minutes later the scholar is moving toward de-escalation.  My time lost from academics in my classroom, about forty-five minutes.  The lost academic time for the home room teacher about ninety minutes.  The number of scholars displaced for about ninety minutes despite doing all the right things in a classroom, about twenty.  The repercussions for the scholar that caused all this mayhem, minimal.
2. A scholar in my classroom walks off the bus one morning wearing a t-shirt and pants with an outdoor temperature of approximately forty-five degrees.  When he arrives in the classroom Gnu asks him where his hoodie is as it's cold outside.  He replies, "my brother spilled something on it so my parental unit threw it away."  I look over at Gnu and she says, "his parental unit does not own a washer and dryer."  So I say to her, "rather than washing clothes she just throws them away."  I didn't get a response.  Twice this scholar has been invited to go to an organization that provides clothing to scholars in need.  This scholar was twice fully equipped with clothes to include, winter coat, hat, gloves, sweat shirts, school shirts and pants and shoes.  When this scholar is questioned about the whereabouts of these clothes the response is, "I don't know." 
3. A scholar in my classroom is getting ready do go outside for recess.  It's cool outside so he is putting his hoodie on.  He walks over to me and says "Mr. Schultz, my zipper is broke can I go to the office and get a new hoodie?"  This is not the first time this scholar has had a clothing issue and every time he has had one there is not one thought of having his parental unit solve his problem, he just expects the school to give him a new hoodie.  This scholar is in the fourth grade and already has the mindset that others are to provide all of his basic clothing needs and not his parental unit.   
4. It's early in the morning and Gnu and I are alone in the classroom.  "I met with another teacher yesterday after school to look at the Facebook page of a parental unit for one of our scholars," Gnu says to me.  "Who?" I asked.  Gnu tells me the scholars name and then said the picture of this scholars parental unit was "scary."  "The parental unit was doing his best gangbanger, thug pose and while doing so was holding a joint in his hand," she said.  Dear Lowest Life Form and other Pointy Headed Intellectuals, you seem to go to great lengths to hold a teacher totally responsible for the education of a scholar.  Maybe it's time you started to focus on the location of the real problem.   
5. I get a call to go to Knew2's classroom to assist with a disruptive scholar.  When I arrive, two other crisis team members are in the classroom, and they are doing their best to avoid having The Collector scratch them.  As I approach The Collector I can see in his eyes that he is really angry so I'm careful as I stand in front of his and try and talk to him.  My calming attempt is not working so a decision is made to move him into the time out room.  The two crisis team members are having difficulty moving him in the right direction so I assist.  Once we have The Collector in the time out room I ask what brought this behavior on and Oreo filled me in.   Dear Parental Unit, I just had to physically move your scholar into a time out room because he is angry.  Dear Parental Unit, do you know why your scholar is angry?  It's your scholars birthday and you promised him that you would come to school on his birthday and bring something that he can share with his classmates.  Dear Parental Unit, you don't have a job so what the hell could be so damn important that you chose not to honor your promise to you scholar on his birthday? 
6. Gnu is eating lunch with the scholars in the cafeteria.  As they are leaving the room one of our scholars is upset because they are leaving to go back to the classroom.  This scholar walks up behind Gnu and slugs her in the back and takes off running.  Gnu, frustrated with what just happens, lets the scholar run off and returns to the classroom.  A phone call is made to get help retrieving this scholar and eventually the scholar is returned to our classroom.  The scholar is in the room less than fifteen minutes when he starts breaking crayons and throwing them at the other scholars in the room.  I move toward him to get him stop before someone gets hurt.  He sees me coming, runs across the room, picks up a plastic container holding sliced apples and throws the container at me and is again running down the hallway.  So you know, there is a direct link between this scholar and the parental unit mentioned in item number four.

It's now Friday morning and I'm sitting in the classroom with Gnu just trying to survive the week.  All the scholars made it to school on Friday and are sitting quietly in the classroom.  Just before we get our academic day started the Big B comes on the overhead speaker to make an announcement.  She starts as follows, "may I please have the attention of all of the fourth through six grade boys as I have an announcement about our boys basketball team."  Gnu and I look at each other and know that this is a big moment for one of our scholars.  Actually, big is an understatement, huge would be a much better word as this could be a life changing moment for this scholar.  The Big B continues, "I will be announcing the names of the scholars that have made our boys basketball team.  If I call your name please report to the gym.  As a reminder, not all of the boys that tried out for the team will make the team."  He's sitting within four feet of me at my table and for the first time I think he realized that he may not have made the team.  At the start of this announcement he had a big smile on his face.  Now, that smile is gone, and the classroom is dead silent.  After a delay on the part of the Big B, she starts to read the names.  "Scholar #1 report to the gym.  Scholar #2 report to the gym.  Scholar #3 report to the gym.  The room is still dead silent and I'm starting to think about what to say to him if he is not chosen.  Scholar #4 report to the gym."   The classroom erupts with shouting and hand clapping and EM's smile is huge.  He made the team and Gnu and I both realize that this could be a real life changing experience for this fine your scholar.  Despite all of my frustrations, all of my venting, this announcement has made my day.   I think I'll stick around just so I can see how this story will end.

That's it.  I'm out for another week.  Thank you again for hanging out with an old guy with a view from the back of the room.  Did I mention that EM made the basketball team?  Words cannot describe how happy Gnu and I are for him.    

              

Bus Captain and Revisiting Being Defenseless

It's the last week of October, trick or treat.  Well, technically it's trunk or treat but I'll get to that a little later. 

My blog post, We Are Defenseless, caught the attention of as far west as Utah.  As a reminder, the names I use in this blog are totally made up for the scholars, staff, and those who read the blog.  So, if you haven't figure it out, as far west as Utah is a friend of mine and as you might guess, she is in Utah.  As far west as Utah is a retired teacher who appears to be more protective of jack rabbits that intruders and she shared with me the defensive strategy used in classrooms in her former school corporation. Like my school, they do intruder lock down drills where the door is locked, lights turned off and scholars are moved into areas in the classroom that are out of sight of the classroom door.  However, in Utah, their lock down drill training carries it a couple steps further.  The scholars are told to use desks, chairs and any other item available to block the door.  The scholars are also instructed to grab books and any objects that can be thrown as a means to protect themselves.  Now I know some of you may be getting a bit agitated and think this is stupid but these are delaying tactics and hopefully they will delay a gun carrying intruder long enough until the police arrived.  If you are already agitated at this defensive strategy then this next one will probably set you off.  Interested teachers in Utah can sign up for gun safety classes and guess what, they do.  And even better, these interested teachers can and do carry weapons into the schools and classrooms.  I have one final comment on being defenseless in an Indiana school.  I did an internet search about school shootings in Utah and there haven't been any.  Maybe Indiana should merge with Utah.

Oreo, our behavior specialist, was out for a couple days and that meant I get promoted to bus captain for arrival of the morning buses.  It doesn't take a rocket scientist to be a bus captain which is probably why I'm qualified but like any other position at my school it's always an adventure.  Here is an overview of my two days as morning bus captain.  Day one, one bus discipline referral form handed to me for a female scholar who absolutely refused to sit in her assigned seat and a fight between two male scholars, one of which was Straw, a former scholar that I worked with in the third and fourth grade.  Day two, three male scholars were overly animated on the bus distracting just about everyone.  Interestingly, there was no bus dismissal referral form to go with this incident.  Also on day two, I was contacted by our administrative czar, who guards the front door, about a scholar on a particular bus.  The administrative czar informed me that there is reason to believe that this scholar, who has a green backpack and is wearing a red shirt and khaki pants, may be carrying some brass knuckles to school.  As a reminder, I don't make this stuff up.  Fortunately for me, no one getting off the bus fit that description.  Although I'm not the bus captain, I also have bus duty at the end of the school day so if you think my bus captain duties in the morning were interesting just wait until you read this.  One second grade scholar, I believed I mentioned him last year (Tourette is his name) was in a major eruption spewing forth a string of obscenities that would rival any of the worse language I have ever heard.  The bus monitor and bus driver demanded that he be removed from the bus and suspended from the bus.  Working with the evening bus captain, we managed to get him off the bus and into the school office. With our bus captain, as well as the Big B, talking to Tourette, they managed to get him settled down so off to the bus we go for a second time.  Tourette is not on the bus for thirty seconds when the obscenity tirade resumes.  The bus captain, after almost ten minutes, gets Tourette to settle down and the bus finally departs.  The next day, a third grade scholar, goes off on the bus and is in a major anger outburst all because he didn't like his assigned seat.  The bus captain, after about fifteen minutes of de-escalation talk, settles this scholar down and the bus leaves.  One final comment about buses.  At some point in the future you will hear on television or radio or in the newspaper stories about bus incidents that question the decisions of the bus monitor or bus driver.  Before you come to a conclusion about the bus incidents ask yourself this question, were you on the bus?  All those bus incidents that I just wrote about happened in two days and I can tell you this, I'll side with the bus monitor and bus driver every time until I see definitive proof otherwise.

Our reading block starts with the song, "Oh My Darling, Clementine" for the last time as we are down to the last two chapters plus it's Friday and we have work to do before the Halloween festivities start.  Gnu gets out the cowboy hats for the scholars to wear and then pulls out a large plastic bag from behind her desk.  She announces to the scholars that, like the characters in the story who are settling down for the night, we'll have to settle down for the night.  So she pulls from her plastic bag authentic western blankets that her gentleman caller acquired while he was in Texas.  With everyone properly covered in their blank the reading begins.  In the penultimate chapter the scholars are told about a song called "Red River Valley" that is mysteriously heard on a player piano in the ghost town's hotel.  As I expected, out comes Gnu's iPhone and the next thing we hear is "Red River Valley" playing on the iPhone as the final pages of the story are read.   

So much for academics as now we move on to Halloween.  Our first assignment is to make sugar cookies from scratch with the scholars actively participating in the making of the cookies.  As in the past, my role is to sit on the sidelines until the project is completed and then clean up the mess.  At around 10:30am the dough is prepared and the scholars are now using a rolling pin to smooth out the dough before using cookie cutters to shape their cookies.  At around 11:20am the cookies are prepared and are on their way to the oven.  After recess, lunch, and music, the cookies are cool and it is decorating time and also time for round two of making a mess for me to clean up.  By 2:30pm, the cookies have been consumed and now it's movie time so out come the western blankets, that I just neatly folded about an hour earlier, as the scholars plus Gnu settle down on the floor to watch "Casper the Friendly Ghost".  I know I've said it before but I'll say it again, I really enjoy working with this wonderful teacher and if she wants to make a mess in the classroom, I'm fine with that.

Although it's been quite some time I need to tell you again how lucky I am to work at this school.  Under the leadership of the Big B, the school is hosting a trunk or treat after school at 6:00pm in our school parking lot.  Many of the teachers and other staff members have agreed to stay after school to decorate their personal cars in a Halloween theme and then hand out candy from the trunks of their cars to our scholars and their parental units.  After trunk or treating, the scholars and their parental units will go back into school for pizza and drinks and then watch a scary Halloween movie.  These after school activities, where no one is getting paid, that took place until 8:00pm on a Friday evening.  Please keep this in mind the next time you hear one of the lowest life forms, their pointy headed intellectuals that fill their heads with nonsense, and other naysayers who criticize our schools and our teachers.  I work in a great school and I will defend it against uninformed attackers all day long.

One quick Halloween story and I'm out.  My part time editor, part time consultant, and full time spouse and I went out to dinner on Halloween evening to a local family owned restaurant for a burger and a beer or two.  As we arrived we saw Dorothy from "The Wizard of Oz" entering the restaurant ahead of this.  I'm thinking what a great costume until I realize that Dorothy was smoking a cigarette.  I know I'm getting old and maybe my memory is slipping a little but I pretty certain that Dorothy did not smoke a cigarette while on her way to Oz.  That's it.  I'm out.