My View From the Front Of the Room - For One Hour

For an hour a couple days ago I had the power to mold and shape the minds full of mush of our six young scholars.  BaseG had to visit the Bureau of Motor Vehicles to resolve an issue with a flotation device he purchased.  That means I get to move to that really big and swell looking table with the gold trim on the sides that occupies the front of the room.

Before I moved to the front of the room I realized that I needed a game plan so I could keep the scholars on task.  It needed to be a good game plan because if I couldn't maintain their attention their brains will go off in a dozen different directions which frequently results in bad things happening in the classroom.  BaseG left work sheets on the scholars desks so I thought I'd use those in addition to our morning writing prompt.  By the way my job is to come up with the daily morning writing prompt. Sometimes I'll get ideas from the internet and sometimes I just make it up.  Today's writing prompt was made up.  It if you could go anywhere in our country where would you go.

With a game plan in mind I head to the front of the room and realize that I have encountered my first obstacle.  There in front of me is the really big and swell looking table with the gold trim on the side and there are a few things on it that I don't need.  I figure it's a small obstacle as I'll just move the items to another location.  Twenty minutes later the table is clear and I'm ready for the day.

The scholars are arriving and the day is about to begin.  After they finish their breakfast and say the Pledge of Alligience and our school motto it's time to go to work.  I decide to change the order that we do things and tell them we are starting with the morning writing prompt.  That doesn't draw any response until I show them my timer and tell them they only have fifteen minutes to complete the writing assignment.  The first eruption came from CorP.  Fifteen minutes, we can't get this done in fifteen minutes.  The next eruption came from Floss who basically repeated what CorP said.  My response was brief.  You have fifteen minutes to finish the assignment.  I've already started the timer  and you've lost thirty seconds whinning about it.  I suggest you get started.  Dead silence.  They are  writing.  A couple minutes go by and still dead silence as they continue to right.  I make eye contact   with PhD? Sparty who is occupying my chair in the back of the room.  She sees me and smiles and  gives me the thumbs up sign.  The dead silence continues.  No one is talking.  There is no bickering.  No one is up wondering around the room.  They are just writing.  Floss and Straw are finished.  Yo and The Collector finished shortly thereafter.  CorP was the last one to finish.  When he handed me  his paper I stopped the timer.  I looked at him and said there are still one minute and forty two seconds remaining and you said fifteen minutes was not enough time.  I smiled at him and we  exchanged high fives and he headed back to his desk.

I was on a roll as the two remaining worksheets were completed in near silence.  Shortly after the morning work was completed BaseG arrived and I headed back to my makeshift desk at the back of the room.  As I sat there thinking about my time up front I realized how different the view was from the back of the room.  When the scholars are working on academics all I can see is the back of their heads.  If one of them is struggling with the assignment I don't realize it until their frustration level is high and eruptions are about to begin.  When you are in the front of the room you can look them in the eye.  During the writing assignment I saw that Floss was stuck and didn't know what to right.  When they were completing the language arts assignment I could tell Yo didn't know what to do and I got his attention and reviewed the instructions.  The math assignment was on area and perimeter so anticipating that Floss may erupt, pound both fists on his desk and then flip it over and say see this is why I hate math I wrote the formula for area and perimeter on the white board.  

Back to the morning writing prompt.  If you could go any place in our country where would you go.  In hindsight I should have avoided that type of writing assignment.  Why?  If Mary was standing next to me she would have said that is a poor writing prompt.  She'd go on to say to me how many of your scholars have ever been on a vacation that took them out of Indianapolis.  Have any of them been on an airplane?  Have they ever driven to NYC or Chicago with their parental unit?  Have they even ventured as far as the canal or the cultural trail?  She's right, they probably haven't and I won't make  that mistake again.

I enjoyed my view from the front of the room.  I had fun up there and I'm sitting here smiling as I think about it.  Maybe sometime back in 1974 or 1975 instead a declaring a business major I should  have chosen education.

I'm out of here.  Jake LaMatta arrives in the morning and I need to complete my decision making list.  

Jake LaMatta May Return - A Little Movie Trivia

I received some disturbing news on Monday April 28th.  I was informed that a former scholar that I will call Jake LaMatta may be returning to our classroom.  My immediate reaction was not good as this scholar has the potential to really increase the volatility level in the classroom.  I mentioned to BaseG that the history between Jake LaMatta and one of our current students is not good.  His response was yes I'm aware of that and like you I'm not really happy with this decision.  He went on to say imagine what will happen when our newest scholar decides to push Jake LaMatta's hot button and I'm thinking there will be an eruption with the potential for injury.  

Here is the part of the story that really raises my blood pressure.  Jake LaMatta is being transferred to our school because his current teaching team cannot handle him.  Great!  They fail to do their job so we get a new scholar with a history of very serious anger control issues.  So serious that if he is at risk of hurting other scholars I may have to forceably subdue him and in doing so put myself at risk of getting injured.  There are thirty school days remaining and we just started round two of ISTEP testing.  BaseG does not deserve having this happen to him.  I don't deserve to have this happen to me.

I hope you noticed that I stated the current teaching team failed to do their job.  I will give you an overview of how a special education classroom for scholars with emotional disabilities is staffed.  So you are aware I'm not certain about how this other school is staffed so I'm making the assumption that it is similar to ours.  There is a teacher and an instructional assistant in the classroom.  There is a person in charge of the in-school suspension room that can lend support to the teacher.  There is a behavioral specialist that supports the teacher.  In worse case scenarios there is a Crisis Team that may have up to three people on it that can support the teacher.  In all we could be talking about six or seven adults that are responsible for maintaining control of one fourth grader.  It is apparent, with Jake LaMatta moving to our school, that this team failed to do their job.  As a result of their failure they get rewarded with a lighter scholar load.  

One of the topics discussed regularly in our classroom is feelings.  At every group session the scholars are asked how are you feeling today.  If I was asked right now how I'm feeling I'd say ANGRY!

What to do?  What to do?  I guess I need to do what I always told my daughter to do when she had to make big decisions.  Make a list of the good points and bad points then compare the two lists and make a decision.  I've started that list.

And Then She Was Gone

It's Friday at 5:16pm and I'm sitting on the screen porch drinking a Dos Equis Amber in a frosted glass.  You'd think I'd be a happy camper but it appears that disappointing things happen on Friday.  First it was Gee and today it is IvyL.  Just like that they are both gone.  Two people who truly had a positive impact on our young scholars have left the building.

I've decide that I'm going to negotiate with The Big B prior to the next school year.  First I'm going to ask for a wage increase.  Chances of getting one are like slim to none so I have a plan B.  I want an intern.  If PhD? Sparty can have an intern I want one.  And I just don't want any old intern I want one from say an Ivy League school like Cornell University.  I know that sounds kind of snooty but I believe it would greatly enhance my view from the back of the room if I had an intern.  Now I here snickering and hushed talk that a lowly teacher's aid don't get interns.  I also heard someone whispering that only highly trained and organized professionals like a teacher can get an intern.  Well first of all I'm not a teacher's aid I'm an instructional assistant.  And second of all just because I don't have some high brow teaching license don't me I can't teach.

Ok, I guess I'll have to prove I'm worthy of an intern from Cornell University which by the way is the home of some girl named Big Red who fills the roll of university mascot.  First of all rumor has it that dating etiquette classes are not at the forefront at Ivy League schools.  When as an example a coed is in a room full of classmates you don't just shout out "I wish some guy would buy me dinner".  You have to be a little more tactful.  I can help my intern honed those dating technique skills.  Second I am aware that vocational skills classes like home economics are also lacking at the Ivy League schools.  For example if you put food in a microwave, heat it up and it is still cold you don't have to eat it.  All you have to do is put the food back in the microwave and heat it up for a few more seconds.  So there is my proof that I have the skills that are necessary to have an intern from an Ivy League school.  I can't wait for August to get here.

I'm about to break my rule regarding anonymity for a second time.  Hopefully no one will mind.  On  Thursday April 24, 2014 at approximately 3:00pm Danielle completed her last group  session with our scholars.  Ms. Danielle as the scholars call her is working towards a degree in Clinical Social Work.  Sometime in the next couple weeks she will complete all her degree  requirements and graduate.  For the past several months she was in our school working as an intern with PhD? Sparty.  It was fun for me to watch the scholars adjust to her being in the room.  At first there was little interest in her but that changed as the school year went by and cookies and brownies entered the picture.  At the end when she entered the room the scholars greeted her.  Some with just a  hi and others with a hug.  For me let me say this.  It was a joy to get to know her and work with her.   Our quiet conversations at the back of  the room were fun and greatly appreciated especially on the days that I struggled in the classroom.

I'm going to make a personnel comment to Danielle as I know she is reading my blog. Hopefully the  rest of you won't mind.  I've have every intention of bugging The Big B about your future at our  school.  So on or about August 4,  2014 when you once again step across the threshold of room 106  be prepared to hear well if it isn't  Miss IvyL.

Dear Parental Unit What the Hell Were You Thinking? #2

This is the second installment on the subject of the parental unit.  A quick search in my memory bank indicates that I could have several installments in a row should I choose to do so.

Like millions that are advanced in years health obstacles tend to jump out and grab you.  Despite many consecutive years attending the local Y five or six days a week I was diagnosed with hypertension.  I'm not a happy camper when I receive the news but as the doctor stated it's a hereditary problem so deal with it.    So every day I go through the same basic routine, the three S's and then fill a glass with water, pick up a pill and pop it in my mouth,  drink the water and swallow the pill.  When the vial that contains the pill nears the empty stage I go to the pharmacy and get more pills.  Then repeat these steps for the rest of my life.  Pretty simple process.

Dear parental unit what and the hell are you thinking when you allow your child's prescription to run out and then delay getting it filled.  To quote Ronald Weasley from the Harry Potter series "are you mental".  Dear parental unit making sure your child takes his medication daily is not difficult so how do you manage to screw it up.  Dear parental unit why do you let you child's medication run out? All you have to do is go to the pharmacy and get more so how do you manage to screw that up.

For six consecutive school days we had at least one scholar attending school without first taking his medication.  Fortunately for us at no time did we have two scholars without medication on the same day during this time frame.  I've sat in the back of the classroom long enough now to recognize behavior changes that are caused by a lack of medication.  What I didn't understand was why it appeared that the scholars behavior got progressively worse with each passing day until I discussed the matter with PhD? Sparty.  She used sinus conditions in her analogy.  One the first day without your sinus medication you can breathe fairly well but know something is not right.  Day two your breathing ability is now impaired and breathing is more difficult.  On day three your nose is  screaming at you to go to the pharmacy and get your prescription filled.

With the scholars it becomes a matter of staying focused and some cases controlling their emotions.   I'll take you through the three day progression and as you read this you'll understand why I stated that BaseG and I were fortunate that only one scholar was off medication at a time.  On day one it was  noticeable even before we completed the Pledge of Allegiance and morning announcements.  Can't sit still, got up and walk out of the room stating I want to go see my evil sister.  Came back in the  classroom room and sat at his desk but not for long.  Up again and moving around.  Some academics  is completed but not much.   Day two and now even more active and louder.  Screams for no apparent reason, bothering other students, wants breakfast and before I can get to the door he's in the hallway and running to the cafeteria.  Back with breakfast but does not have the ability to stay focused long  enough to eat and eventually tosses the food into the wastebasket.  Continues to disrupt other students and starts climbing on furniture.  Little if any academics is completed.  Day three and now very  active.  Climbing on desks and book cases, vocally louder and speaking aggressively.  Moves in my  direction and states he is going to punch BaseG in the private parts.  Then makes a move toward me  and makes a hand movement like he is going to stab me with his ink pen.  The other scholars are now getting agitated with this behavior and start shouting at him to be quiet.  With the room volitality  increasing BaseG removes the scholar from the room.  After a somewhat lengthy absence from the  room BaseG returns and walks over to me and says he'll be gone for multiple days.  Why so long I  asked.  He had a real blow up in the Big Boss office.

As I said in a previous post their is an informal agreement between the parental unit and the teacher  to work together to insure that the scholar improves both academically and socially.  Unfortunately  academics and social skills to a back seat for six consecutive days.  The timing of this incident is  troublesome as on April 28th the second round of statewide testing starts.  From the parental units  perspective this testing is of little importance as they have an easy out.  They can just blame the fat  ass teacher and the instructional assistant that is so old he belongs in a nursing home.  From the    teacher's perspective jobs are on the line because if the scholar fails the statewide tests then it must be due to ineffective teaching.  If some knucklehead from the news media decides to write another    article claiming that huge numbers of teachers must be ineffective because state wide tests scores    dropped the general public believes this crap.  Listen and listen carefully.  From my view at the back      of the room I'll tell you straight up why scholars fail academically.  They are products of piss poor   parenting and if you don't believe me read the second paragraphs above again.

Hmmm!  The three S's.  I wonder if I have to explain that?

Mr. Leroy Vs The NFL Players

My plan was to put this post together a few weeks ago but delays in retrieving a book from the school library forced me to put it on hold. I read this book while I was a volunteer and working with fourth grade scholars a couple years ago.  The book was recommended to me by a fourth grade scholar who was reading it and she thought I would like the book.  Based upon her recommendation I read the book and really enjoyed it.  To put this post together I'll be referring to pages ninety six through one hundred one from the book.

This is my best attempt at having a debate.  The debate will take place between an NFL player and Mr. Leroy.  The NFL player is Richard Sherman a cornerback with the Seattle Seahawks and Mr. Leroy.  Below is some background on the two debaters.

Richard Sherman is a graduate of Stanford University (2006 to 2010).  He graduated with a degree in communications.  He was working on a Master's Degree before getting drafted by the Seahawks in 2011.  He was also the salutatorian of his high school class.

Mr. Leroy to the best of my knowledge had no formal education.  In his lifetime football did not exist.    Mr. Leroy is a character in a historical fiction book and for the better part of his made up life he was a slave.

The debate topic is The N Word and should it be banned in the NFL.

Mr. Sherman as one of the first NFL players to speak out on the ban you may begin.  "It's weird that they're targeting one specific word.  Why wouldn't all curse words be banned then"?

Mr. Leroy you may begin.  They say it's a sign of hatred when a white person says it and a sign of    bad upbringing and ignorance when one our own calls it out, so there ain't no good excuses.  

Mr. Sherman.  "It's a common word in so many players' everyday lives".  "Among African/American  players and people, it's used among friends all the time".

Mr. Leroy slightly agitated.  You thinks just 'cause that word come out from twixt your lips it mean  anything different?  You think it ain't choke up with the same kind of hate and disrespect it has when   they say it?  You caint see it be even worst when you call it out?

Mr. Sherman please provide your closing remarks.  Banning the word from the playing field is an  "atrocious idea" that is "almost racist".

Mr Leroy please provide your closing remarks.  Animated and now really agitated.  What you think  they call my girl when they sold her?  What kind of baby they call her from up on the block?  What   name you think they call my wife when they take her to another man for his own?  What?  What you   think they call me whilest they was doing this?  He opens the front of his shirt to show where a big   square with a letter T in the middle of it was branded into him.  The scar was raised up and shiny and  was real plain to see.  Has you lost your natural mind?  You wants to be like one n'em?  You wants to be keeping they hate alive?

The debate has ended.  You can now decide the fate of the N Word in the NFL.

So you know I did my best to manipulate the debate in favor of Mr. Leroy.  In the closing arguments  I thought Mr. Sherman's statement to the media was just ridiculous.  I chose Mr. Leroy's closing   statement because I thought it was powerful.  Why did I manipulate the debate?  I hate that word.

Richard Sherman voiced his opinion on the banning of the N Word in the NFL via the media so his   actual words are in quotation marks.  Mr. Leroy's words are from a book written by Christopher Paul  Curtis called Elijah of Buxton.  In the book Elijah was on the verge of saying the N Word when Mr.    Leroy backhanded him across the face. I just took Mr. Leroy's words from the book and used them in  the  debate.

Christopher Paul Curtis is the author of several young adult books.  He is the recipient of the 2008 Newbery Honor Book,  the 2008 Coretta Scott King Award and the 2008 Scott O'Dell Award for  Historical Fiction.  He is from Flint, Michigan and earned a degree from the University of Michigan,    Flint campus.  He also worked on an assemble line at Fisher Body Plant/Flint Plant #1.

The Repeating Rifle versus Little Dude

When I first started writing this blog I had to decide on which scholar I would mention first.  I narrowed it down pretty quickly to either Kirby or Little Dude.  I chose Kirby because he actually was in my classroom and decided I'd get to Little Dude at a later date because he fell into the category of guest scholar.  Well Little Dude you're up.

Christopher Spencer if you were alive today your repeating rifle would be no match for the rapid fire mouth of Little Dude.  A little history lesson for those not familiar with Mr. Spencer.  He invented the repeating rifle that was used by the Union Army during the Civil War.  This rifle had the ability to fire fourteen rounds per minute which was far superior to the one shot muscat used by the Confererate Army.  Fourteen rounds per minute pales in comparision to the number of times Little Dude could say my name in the same time frame.

BaseG informed me that we were going to have a guest scholar for a couple days.  No big deal I though as we've had other guest scholars before but the fact that this scholar would be here for a couple days and not a couple hours surprised me.  A short while later in walked Little Dude holding a teddy bear followed by his teacher.  My first reaction was he's in kindergarten how much trouble could he be.  Well I was about to find out.  Also be advised that I'll probably will really screw up the punctuation as I introduce you to Little Dude.

Mr. Schultz, Mr. Schultz, Mr. Schultz can I cut?  Mr. Schultz can I cut?  Can I cut Mr. Schultz?  Can I cut?  Can I cut?  Mr. Schultz can I cut?  He would not stop talking until I spoke to him.  I would do everything I could to ignore him but he would not stop.  One time I asked The Collector to mark on a piece of paper a line for every time Little Dude said my name.  The Collector tried but he had to tell me he lost track because Little Dude was going to fast.  CorP got fed up with him one day and walked over to him and said Little Dude you have to be quiet you talk to much.  Just so you know CorP is the one who assign our guest scholar the name Little Dude.  He was a non stop talking machine.  If you tried to ignore him he'd eventually start to get angry.  He'd start bouncing up and down on his toes and as he'd got madder he'd tilt his head so that his left ear was nearly touching his shoulder.  Mr.  Schultz, Mr. Schultz can I cut?  Can I cut Mr. Schultz?  Can I cut?  Academically he was behind.  He  didn't know the alphabet.  He recognized a few numbers.  He could not write or spell his name and he was totally unprepared to be in an academic setting.  Oddly though he knew his colors and could recognize shapes like circle, square, rectangle and triangle. 

Where do I start because he just can't sit here all day and cut.  Ok, I'll tell you about cut.  Little Dude liked to cut paper with scissors.  He could do it for long periods of time.  As soon as he cut up one piece of paper he'd want another.  He would hold the scissors in a distorted manner and cut.  So I decided my starting point in helping Little Dude was to get him to properly hold the scissors.  Sounds simple enough right.  Not at all.  What a production it was but I survived day one and thought one  more day to go.  Not hardly.

Day two arrives and it's time to work on academics.  I decided to start with the alphabet in combination with writing his name.  I pulled out some lined writing paper and plastic letters of the alphabet and asked him to read the letters.  Mr. Schultz I want to cut.  Ok but first lets work on the alphabet.  Mr. Schultz can I cut?  Mr. Schultz, Mr. Schultz, Mr. Schultz can I cut?  No we have to do the alphabet first.  His anger is building and then he moves into the temper tantrum stage.  He is really hot now but I take one more shot at getting him to do some academics.  You know what I got for this last attempt?  No, not work but instead I got a direct hit with the F bomb.  Little Dude we don't say that in this room and he is on his way to the time out room.  As I'm exiting our time out room I watch home as he raises his right hand as he is about to extend his middle finger in my direction.  The problem is he doesn't have the manual dexterity to do it so he uses his left hand to properly lower the correct fingers.  I'm now waiting patiently to get flipped off and observing his effort.  Finally he gets it just right and then he drops the FU bomb on me.  

Little Dude stayed in our room for approximately twenty five days as the school system tried to find him a better academic work setting.  Each and every attempt to get him to do anything academic was  a challenge.  He would pester me non stop.  First about cutting.  Then about coloring, pasting with a  glue stick or getting on the as he called it the puter (computer).  I had to put up with a lot of his  nonsense but I'm going to tell you two items that I will remember most about Little Dude.  The first  one happened when he was coloring.  I can't recall what it was he was coloring but I told him to take  his time and do a good job so he could take it home and show his mother.  He looked at me and said I don't have a mother.  I suspect your reaction was the same as mine.  The second also involved  coloring only it was a class project and when everyone finished the project we decided to post them  on the wall at the front of the room.  As the older scholars brought up their projects I suggested they  put their name on the back to avoid confusion and they did.  When Little Dude handed me his I  flipped it over and didn't see his name so I handed it back to him saying write your name on the back  and then I'll hang it up.  A short time later he is back and I see his name written on the back of the  paper.  It was barely legible but I knew it was his name so I posted it on the wall.  As I head to the  back of the room PhD? Sparty is standing by my desk.  I have to tell you this first. I can't recall our  exact words and it is driving me nuts because this is the single most important thing I will remember  about Little Dude.  As I get next to her she says did you see what he just did.  I say who.  She  responds Little Dude. I looked at her and said no.  She states he wrote his name.  I turn to look at her  thinking so and within three seconds it hit me right between the eyes.  He wrote his name.  No  fussing.  No complaining.  No nothing.  He listened to my instructions and did what he was told.   That was a first and without PhD? Sparty observing his actions I would have missed it.   

A few days later he was gone.  His parental unit moved.  Every now and then when I see his kindergarten teacher in the hallway I think about him and wonder how he is doing.  I guess I kind of miss the young scholar.

I Did Not Call You A...........

BaseG had to leave early today and that means that I get to move to the front of the room.  I like sitting in front because you get to sit in the chair that is cushioned, has arm rests and wheels.  You also get to sit at the front table that is half round and has plenty of space to put your stuff.  I'm not complaining about the discrepancy in classroom furniture that exists between the teacher and the instructional assistant but that table in front is nice and much more professional looking that the two odd looking pieces of furniture that make up my desk.  From my view at the back of the room this really swell looking big half round table is hard to see because it at times gets a tad bit cluttered.  When I see this I'm thinking that if that really, really swell looking giant half round table with the good trim on the side was at the back of the room it would look great.  In fact I bet when visitors enter the classroom the first thing they would notice would be this table and they would say wow that is a great looking table and everything is so neatly organized.

Before I could move to the front of the room I had to take the scholars to music class.  The scholars attending music were CorP, Yo!, EM and Floss.  Today's music lesson was to learn a Jewish song as it is Passover.  The lyrics and refrain were written on the whiteboard and I'm thinking as I'm reading this is going to be interesting.  Before I go any further I have to mention that CorP and EM will sing and dance but Floss and Yo! have never sung and I been with Floss for two school years.  The teacher starts with the refrain and they all sing.  The teacher then adds the lyrics and they all sing.  The teacher then adds the two parts together with hand clapping and they all sing and clap hands.  At this point I'm stunned.

There was an additional interesting moment in music today.  During the discussion about this Jewish song and Passover the word God was mentioned.  Upon hearing the word Yo! spoke up and asked the teacher who is God.

Music ends and we are back in the classroom and it's time to get some academic work completed.  The first assignment is handwriting and I pass out the worksheets.  While doing so PhD? Sparty, IvyL and Oreo walk into the room and start having some sort of hen festival as I'm working.  It doesn't bother me and I'm glad they are here as there always has to be two staff members in the classroom at all times.  When I look in their direction a second time I notice that Post It note pads are being used and information is being exchange.  Now my curiosity is up and I asked them what is going on.  IvyL steps to the side and said we were talking about your blog and the fact that you called me a shrimp.  I did not call you a shrimp.  She returns with you called me a shrimp.  No I didn't I just mentioned that I was much taller than you.  Now Ms. IvyL I just revisited my post dated April 9, 2014 and no where  could I find the word shrimp.  So there.

By the way during handwriting we had time to discuss the worlds biggest carrot which was just over 37 feet long, the worlds largest cucumber which was just over 35 inches long and the world record for taking a bath with rattlesnakes which was 75.  I'm thinking BaseG will never leave early and let me move to the front of the room again.

And Then He Was Gone

I started and stopped writing this post four times because I couldn't find the right words to describe how big a loss his leaving will mean to our school.  I knew it was coming as we talked about it on a number of occasions while we were in the car heading to either school or practice.  Even knowing about it didn't help much when I received the text message at about 9:15pm on Thursday.  I can't recall the exact wording except for the last few words which were Friday is my last day.

Initially we didn't know each other very well.  He occupied a classroom down the hall from me and we'd say good morning or how are you doing today but that was it.  That changed a lot in either October or November of 2012 when the teacher I was paired with transferred to another school.  Initially substitute teachers were assigned to my classroom which was fine with me.  At some time in the future I'll have to tell you about some of the substitutes I've met.  One morning when I walked into the school the administrative door guard informed me that I would not have a substitute teacher for the day.  Ok is what I said and reminded the administrative door guard that I can't be in the classroom by myself.  She said that The Big B was working on it.  About twenty minutes later he walked in the room.  Mr. Schultz The Big B sent me here to help you out.  I can't recall exactly what I said to him but a few minutes after arriving he asked me if there were any lesson plans for the day.  I said no.  He said you've got to be kidding.  I said no but I have worksheets and we are going to wing it and we ended up winging it for several consecutive days.

One day while we were without a substitute teacher he said to me Mr. Schultz I don't think they need to hire a teacher they should just hire you.  I looked at him and said man you aren't thinking clearly.  He look at me and said I knew the previous teacher and you got more work out of these scholars than she did.  I looked at him and said I'll take the teaching job under one condition and that is that you have to take the instructional assistant job.  All further conversations about me teaching the class ended abruptly.

If you are familiar with the good cop bad cop scenario he was the bad cop at our school.  He was in charge of our in school suspension room plus he had a bus duty roll and a cafeteria monitor roll.  This is a tough job because all day long he dealt with scholars who were kicked out of their

classroom due  to disruptive behavior.  It was fairly common for me to hear him in the hallway being the bad guy.  In a raised voice I'd hear stay in line, stop talking or I'm going to call your parental unit and tell them  how you are behaving.  On a good day he'd have one or two scholars in his room.  On a bad day he  could have from five to seven scholars in his room.  When he had a chance to speak to me he'd say I  wish I got spend one evening with these disruptive scholars and tell them a few facts of life about  their behavior.  Just so you know I cleaned that up a little.  No I actually cleaned that up a lot.

I saved the best part for last.  This man was a coach and you could tell he loved doing it.  His two primary sports were football and basketball and from what I can tell he coached practically year round.  Mostly it was youth sports, grade school and middle school and of late high school.  There was a day when I was driving him to practice and he decided to call a scholar athlete and have a chat  with a young man.  Listen you're messing up and it has to stop or you will not be on my team.  Don't  tell me what so and so said I don't care.  Don't tell me what so and so did I don't care.  Listen to me  this is about you and what you are doing do you understand me?  Good now I will tell you one more  time so we are clear on this.  If you mess up one more time you will not be on my team.  Goodby!   The whole time he was talking to this young scholar athlete I kept thing he is a special person.

It's the last day of school and this man in charge of the in school suspension room has to say goodby.  This man who had to be aggressive and speakly loudly to disruptive scholars all day long was leaving.  I was told by the sixth grade teachers that scholars in their classes had tears in their eyes when he told them he was leaving.  This public grade school just lost a great man as he took a staff  position and a coaching position at his alma mater.

Dear Indianapolis Star - Let's Revisit Ineffective Teachers

Yes this is a letter to the local newspaper.  Do I think there is any chance my letter will be read?  NO!     So why am I doing this?  Because I'm still irritated about that tabloid journalism article about teacher effectiveness that was in the paper a little while ago.  I'm also writing this letter because this blog has had a few page views and I'm thinking there may be followers who actually believe that there are many, many ineffective teachers in our schools.

Dear Reader and Maybe The Indianapolis Star,

Although there is no signed contract between the school teacher and the parental unit there is an informal agreement between the two parties.  This agreement simply states that we in partnership will do everything we can to insure that the scholar gets the best education possible.  Keeping this in mind below you will find a scenario that involves the teacher and the parental unit in the classroom where I sit in the back of the room. 

On a daily basis the teacher prepares a behavior folder that indicates to the parental unit how their scholar behaved while at school.  The behaviors range from blue and green which is excellent or good to orange and red which is bad to gone postal.  There is also room on the behavioral folder for the teacher to write messages to the parental unit about their scholars behavior.  Inside the folder on the left hand side is where the homework is placed.  Inside the folder on the right hand side is general information about events happening at school.  In exchange for all of this information prepared by the teacher on a daily basis all that the parental unit is asked to do is sign the folder daily and offer any feedback that may be helpful to the teacher.  Below is a chart showing the number of times a folder was sent home and how often it was signed.

Scholar                            Folder Days     Parental Unit Signatures
Floss.                               16.                    0
The Collector.                  12.                   0
Yo!                                   11.                   5
CorP.                                19.                   0
EM.                                  17.                   0
Straw.                               8.                     8

I'm going to help you out by doing the math.  Sixteen percent of the time folders were returned with a parental unit signature.  Let me remind you again that all the scholars that I work with have emotional  disabilities and for the most part are behind academically.  Let me remind you again that the teacher and parental unit have to work in partnership so that the scholar has the best chance to improve both socially and academically.  With that I would like you to answer the following question.  

Who in this partnership is being ineffective the teacher or the parental unit?  Please post your opinion in the comment section so I can tally the score.

PS - if you are being observant you noticed that one of the scholars only had eight folder days.  This is one of the great mysteries in the classroom as this scholar's folder has gone home around seventeen times which is consistent with some of the other scholars.  Unfortunately twilight zone types of activities are occurring as the behavioral sheet for this scholar keeps disappearing.  Fortunately I've been very observant sitting in the back of the room as I noticed that the behavior sheet tends to disappear on days when the scholars behavior has been fair or trending towards poor.  I also made one other discovery.  One of my jobs is to maintain the appearance of the classroom.  So it is fairly common for me to pick stuff up from the floor and deposit them in the wastebasket.  In doing this one day I noticed a object in the wastebasket that looked familiar so I reached in and picked it up.  Yes I know that sounds gross.  Well what do you know I found a scholars behavioral folder torn into pieces in the wastebasket.  I'll let you figure out which scholar owned this behavioral sheet.

Mary Just Discovered We Drive Old People Cars

Here are the top ten car models.
1. Ford F Series pickups
2. Honda CRV
3. Toyota Camry
4. Honda Accord
5. Chevrolet Silverado
6. Ford Escape
7. Honda Civic
8. Chevrolet Equinox
9. Toyota RAV4
10. Nissan Altima

I drive the CRV.  Mary drives the Toyota.  What do you drive?

What exactly is this car list?  The top 10 models selected by purchasers age 55 and older from January to November 2013.  So are you driving an old persons car?

On This Date - April 9th - I Had the Strangest Feeling

It must be starting to happen because today I had a totalling weird feeling while standing and talking to PhD? Sparty and IvyL in the back of the room.  What happened you say.  Well, I think I just might be getting a little old.  Then I thought about it for a minute and decided I'm not old but something just wasn't right.  It finally dawned on me what was wrong.

For the better part of the day I'm seated in the back of the room at my desk.  Technically it's not a desk but it is a computer table without the computer and a small rectangular table that are arranged in the shape of an L.  If I need to move it is usually for one of two reasons.  First to get closer to a scholar who is on the verge of an eruption so I can keep the scholar from hurting himself or others.  Second to move closer to the door to keep scholars from running out of the room.  So for most of the day I remain seated as I'm either helping a scholar with academics or observing scholar behavior.  When someone like PhD? Sparty or IvyL enter the room I remain seated.  It's not like I'm being disrespectful because I have on occasion offered them a chair but they usually remain standing and I stay seated.

All of that changed today because all three of us were standing and talking.  While doing so I kept looking at them from head to toe.  No, not like some kind of masher but looking at them because something just wasn't right.  Finally I figured it out.  I'm not seated when I'm talking to them.   I'm standing and they are standing and I discovered today for the first time that I much taller than either one of them.

Teacher Ratings: True or False

That is the headline from the April 8, 2014 edition of The Indianapolis Star.  Directly below the headline it states, so many high marks and so few low raise questions about evaluation systems.  Before I go any further I need to direct a comment at the readers from the state of Michigan who might read this post.  Indiana has historically been in the bottom quartile when it comes to academic achieve.  Indiana also uses a grading system for their schools that ranges from an A to an F.  Right now there are a significant number of schools in the state with an F rating including the school where I sit in the back of the room.

Beware because this conversation may get animated and the language may be inappropriate.

The jist of this article is that nationally the students in Indiana are underachieving academically but statewide only a very small percentage of the teachers are rated as ineffective.  The bottom line here is that the evaluation system is flawed because with so many F schools in the state there should be many, many more teachers rated ineffective.  What a crock of feces.

I don't know a lot about the authors of this Indianapolis Star article but I wonder how much time they've spent in a classroom.  I suspect little if any.  Well they might not have but I have.  In fact I'm in my third school year sitting in the back of the room so I see first hand what is going on academically.  You know what I see everyday teachers busting their ass so a scholar can get an education.  The average class size is 25 scholars.  Each teacher has to prepare lesson plans for language arts, math, science and social studies.  They then assign homework for all these subjects and then have to grade the homework.  Let me repeat this there are on average 25 scholars in a classroom and they have to grade all of this homework nightly.  I'll tell you this they don't get it graded each night so in order to stay caught up on the homework and their lesson plans they come to school and Saturday and/or Sunday to get their work done.

There are two things I like to see the authors of this article do.  First of all spend a day with me and record their observations in The Indianapolis Star.  In fact today would have been a great day to do this and here is why.  The Collector decided he didn't want to do all his academic work but wanted to play games on the computer.  When he was told to stay off the computer he got angry and call the teacher a bitch.  He then walked around the room knocking items off of desks and counter tops.  Later in the day the classroom telephone rang and Straw got upset because he couldn't answer the phone.  He decided he was going to call home and tell his parental unit that the teacher was being mean and wouldn't let him answer the phone.  When the teacher told him to stay off the phone Straw turned and said to shut up you fat ass.  When the teacher told Straw that he was being disrespectful Straw said my parental unit said you are a fat ass.  Now that the writers for The Indianapolis Star have first hand knowledge of what happened in my classroom today they will be directed to the home of these two scholars so they can speak to their parental units about their scholars behavior.  With accurate information about what happened in the classroom they can publish their observations in The Indianapolis Star and the readers can decide if we have ineffective teachers or ineffective parental units.

Here is the second task for the writers from The Indianapolis Star. I'm going to write a test that I'd like the writers to administer.  The test will be created from third grade academic material.  Here are the questions.

How many lines of symmetry are there in a square?

What is the difference between an antonym and a synonym?

Is the follow statement a fact or opinion?  Mr. Schultz is to old to teach my son and he belongs in a nursing home.  By the way that is what a parental unit said to BaseG during a parent/teacher  conversation. 

Please tell me the value of X in the following equation.  4X + 4 = 24. 

Please my dear Aunt Sally is:
     A.  A story from the a tabloid magazine.          
     B.  A letter a child is writing to their aunt.
     C.  A math order of operation.

With the test in hand the writers from The Indianapolis Star will be directed to the car rider line.  As a parental unit arrives to pick up their child the writers will ask the parental unit to answer the  questions.  For every wrong answer they get they will ask the parental unit how do you help your  child with homework when they can't correctly answer test questions geared at third grade scholars.   When the writers have completed their testing assignment I will the ask the writers who is ineffective the teacher or the parental unit.

Here is my final comment on this article.  The Indianapolis Star is a for profit company.  Over the years they have discovered that what sells newspapers is articles about death, dying, destruction and criticizing the public school system.  So the next time you read an article about public schools in The  Indianapolis Star you should be on alert and carefully decide if what you are reading is fact or just  bullshit designed to sell newspapers.
                                                                                                                  

Attention Deficit and Hyperactivity Disorder and Travolta

I met Travolta when I was a volunteer and helping in a fifth grade classroom.  Like a number of other scholars that were disruptive he sat off to the side of the classroom.  When I was in the classroom I sat close to Travolta and saw up close his disruptive behavior.  Speaking loudly to other scholars, disrupting the teacher while she was talking, getting up and walking around the room for no apparent reason was his typical behavior.  One day he really out did himself and must have stepped over the line drawn in the sand because teacher asked me to take him out into the hallway so she could get some work done.  I said fine and with worksheets in hand out the door we went.  What did he do you ask?  Hold on and I'll tell you because this is one of my favorite stories to tell.  As a reminder the names are fictitious be the events are real.

Right in the middle of a math lesson Travolta stood up and started shadowing boxing   He was throwing jabs and hooks like Smokin' Joe Frazier but he failed to properly defend himself.  Suddenly he reacts as if he was hit hard in the head and down he went right on the classroom floor.  Out for the count.

We find a table in the hallway and start working on a vocabulary worksheet.  He had to read the definition of a word and then match it with the correct vocabulary word.  He completed this task quickly and it was apparent that he was pretty smart.  So much for staying on task as he lost his focus.  First he had to erase all the pencil markings on our work table.  Then he was up and walking across the hallway to look at papers posted outside another classroom.  Next he had to crawl under our table because he thought he saw a bug on the floor.  Great I'm thinking.  What next?  A female student carrying a hall pass walked by and Travolta decided a hey baby how are you was required.

Finally we are back on task.  The assignment was to use each vocabulary word in a sentence of your own making.  He gets started and is quickly writing his sentences.  After several minutes he hands me his worksheet and he says he is done.  I look at the worksheet and noticed that he wrote the exact same sentence ten times but with each sentence he used a different vocabulary word.  I look at him and say do you think the teacher will accept this work?  He said yes as he did it before.  Bull!  In less than three minutes we are back in the hallway.

About three weeks after this incident the teacher caught a break as Travolta's family moved.  The teacher's comment to me after telling me the news was I feel sorry for his new teacher.

Fast forward to a little past the midpoint of the next school year and he's back.  Fortunately I didn't have to deal with him in the sixth grade and I bring his return up for one reason and that is sixth grade graduation.  There he is in all his glory walking across the stage to get his diploma wearing his aviator sun glasses and his all white suit and that is why I named him Travolta.

Dear Parental Unit What and the Hell Were You Thinking?

The school uses a behavioral folder as a communication mechanism with the parental units.  On the cover of this folder a scholars behavior is noted for the day using a series of colors.  Blue and green are the colors that indicate to the parental unit that your child had a good day.  Yellow and red are the opposite of good behavior and should send up caution flags that things did not go well at school today and as the parental unit you should ask you child how her/his day went.  There is also room for the teacher or the instructional assistant (me) to write comments on the folder for the parental unit to read.  With that duly noted please pay attention to what happened a few weeks ago.

Yo put that game tablet back in your backpack.  You know those are not allowed in school.  Twice more the scholar grabs his game tablet from his backpack so he can show it to the other scholars and then they can play games rather than school work.  Again the scholar is told to put the game tablet away.  After dealing with oppositional defiance disorder for hours it's now the end of the day and a note is written on the scholars folder asking the parental unit to not allow their child to bring this device to school.  A couple days later this process repeats itself.  Again a note is made on the folder asking the parental unit to not allow their child to bring this device to school.  It is also noted that there is a good chance the device could get damaged or stolen.  A couple days later the scholar allows a classmate to take his game tablet home.  Yo what were you thinking and the game tablet still has never made it back to school.

The parental unit is now agitated and has a conversation with BaseG about the game tablet.  Actually a conversation is a poor description of what happened.  The word tirade is a much better word.  BaseG's response to the parental unit is a simple I can't help you as your child was told on numerous occasions to leave the game tablet at home.  We also informed you twice via the behavior folder not to let your child bring this device to school.  Well that should put an end to that right?  No way as now the parental unit makes a personal appearance at the school and this time the parental unit's target is the principal.  Big mistake as the principal reminds the parental unit that this devise is not allowed in school and you as the parental unit know that.  It now gets even better.  Because the parental unit was so well manner (NOT) when speaking to the principal the principal sent a follow up note home to the parental unit via snail mail.  The note said dear parental unit you will not be allowed back into the school unless you are escorted by school security.

So I'll say this one more time.  Dear parental unit what and the hell were you thinking when........